If I Speak

Have we become reliant on having our feelings validated instead of taking valid criticism? Ash and Moya offer their own strategies for worrying less about what other people think. Plus: how to deal with an ex who’s found God and turned rightwing but is still hanging around. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Explore the essence of adulthood, where caring for others takes center stage over age. Discover how responsibilities like parenting shift perceptions of maturity and end prolonged adolescence. The hosts tackle the emotional sustainability of caregiving and the autonomy that keeps some from those responsibilities. They also address the link between societal obligations and the decline in communal care. Plus, a listener dilemma about transforming a casual hookup into something more offers insights on honesty and vulnerability in relationships.

Sure, you look great – but can you spell pharaoh? Ash and Moya start the year with a tough conversation about the beauty regime that rules over us all. Has women’s freedom been undermined by a fixation on beauty? Are men experiencing 2000s-levels of body dysmorphia? Plus: advice for a listener who wants more intellectual conversations with her husband. Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Lanre Bakare, a culture writer and arts correspondent, dives into the precarious state of arts and nightlife in the UK, highlighting the issues facing Black cultural identity outside London. He discusses the rise of 'cultural deserts' and the role policing plays in stifling nightlife. The conversation touches on Manchester's overlooked histories and the impact of recent cultural trends on community engagement. Lanre also reflects on the commodification of culture and the struggles of Black cultural institutions in the changing publishing landscape.

Ash and Moya are joined by Rizzle Kicks star and author Jordan Stephens to talk about changing attitudes to gender and relationships. Are we regressing into essentialist ideas of gender? Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Plus: advice for a disappointed wife – with help from our audience. Recorded live at EartH in East London on 16 December – apologies for the bass bleed from the other venue! New live show! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Tickets are available from crossedwires.live now. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026 – tickets are available now from https://crossedwires.live/ now! Ash and Moya debate the pros and cons of feeling shame after Ash reveals that her own moral universe is governed by guilt. Plus: what to do about a best friend with a mean streak. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

NEW LIVE SHOW! Join us at Crossed Wires festival in Sheffield on 4th July 2026. Presale tickets available at 11AM on 10th December – go to crossedwires.live and use the code CW26EARLY. After watching the Wicked sequel, Moya wonders if politeness is stopping us from seriously addressing women’s shrinking bodies and changing faces. Are we allowing extreme thinness to be normalised? Plus: can you mould your partner into someone better? CN: From 15:30, eating disorders. From 50:00, rape. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Last chance! We’re at EartH in East London on 16 December with guest Jordan Stephens – a handful of tickets are still available from Dice. Ash and Moya tackle a mystery question about ethical consumption with a conversation about the urge to beautify and shopping as a numbing mechanism. Plus: advice for a special one wondering why men won’t watch ethical porn. CN: The dilemma contains discussion of sexual violence at 35:00. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.

Dr. Annabel Sowemimo, a sexual and reproductive health consultant and author of 'Divided,' explores how rightwing politics impact sexual health. They discuss STI stigma, the influence of social media on Gen Z sexual behaviors, and the importance of pleasure in health practices. Annabel links rising conservatism to restricted abortion access and discusses the role of systemic shame in sexual health. This conversation challenges societal norms and highlights the intersection of politics and personal choices in modern sexuality.

LAST CALL for our Manchester event on 25 November with Lanre Bakare, author of We Were There – get tickets from Contact Theatre! Then we’ll be at EartH in East London on 16 December with Jordan Stephens – tickets are selling fast on Dice. This week a mystery question leads Ash and Moya into conversation about whether their politics are changing as they age – including their takes on Your Party, Zack’s Greens and why the UK left hasn’t produced a Zohran. Plus: how to escape a situationship. Send us your dilemmas: ifispeak@novaramedia.com Music by Matt Huxley.