Explore the complex relationship between ADHD and empathy with Dr. Tamara Rosier, discussing emotional, cognitive, and compassionate empathy. Learn about the downsides of empathy for ADHDers, from misplaced empathy to emotional distress. Discover how ADHD wiring affects empathy, vulnerability to gaslighting, and navigating relationships with boundaries and emotional regulation.
ADHDers can experience empathy in extreme ways, leading to misplaced empathy and empathetic distress.
Balancing emotional, cognitive, and compassionate empathy is crucial for healthy relationships and avoiding over or under-functioning.
Deep dives
Understanding the Three Types of Empathy: Emotional, Cognitive, and Compassionate
Empathy and its three types play a crucial role in managing relationships effectively. Emotional empathy involves feeling with, driven by our emotions. Cognitive empathy goes beyond feeling with, allowing one to take perspective and understand situations better. Compassionate empathy involves putting action to empathetic feelings, offering help and support.
Identifying Empathetic Distress and Modulating Empathy
Empathetic distress occurs when individuals become overwhelmed by empathetic feelings, making it difficult to manage emotions effectively. Recognizing empathetic distress involves being aware of when feelings are becoming too intense or draining. Modulating empathy includes understanding the extent of emotional investment in situations and taking steps to prevent becoming overwhelmed.
Balancing Empathy to Avoid Over-Functioning and Under-Functioning
Balancing empathy entails avoiding over-functioning, where individuals excessively empathize and compensate for others, neglecting their own well-being. Under-functioning empathy occurs when individuals pull back their empathy, focusing more on self-centered concerns rather than understanding others' emotions. Striking a balance between emotional, cognitive, and compassionate empathy is key to healthy relationships.
Managing Misplaced Empathy and Empathetic Distress in Relationships
Misplaced empathy involves directing too much emotional energy towards situations or individuals, leading to emotional drain and physical strain. Empathetic distress occurs when empathetic feelings become overwhelming and self-centered, impacting emotional well-being. Recognizing and managing misplaced empathy and empathetic distress is vital for maintaining healthy relationships.
In this week's episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer explore the nuances of empathy for those with ADHD. Their guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier, recently presented on "The Unexpected Downside of Empathy" at the 2023 International ADHD Conference. Dr. Rosier, founder of the ADHD Center of West Michigan, explains that while empathy is often seen as a virtue, ADHDers may experience it in a more complicated way.
Dr. Rosier outlines three main types of empathy: emotional, cognitive, and compassionate. Typically, employing all three types leads to well-regulated empathy. However, she notes that ADHDers frequently operate at extremes, either overly empathetic or non-empathetic. This imbalance leaves them vulnerable to several "downsides" of empathy.
First, ADHDers may experience misplaced empathy, making excuses for other's inappropriate behavior. Second, getting stuck in emotional empathy can lead to empathetic distress and fatigue from taking on too many others' burdens. Dr. Rosier hypothesizes this stems from the ADHDer's desire to avoid rejection sensitivity.
Third, ADHDers may underfunction by shutting down empathetically. Fourth, they may overfunction by overcompensating for other's lack of empathy. Finally, manipulative people can exploit the ADHDer's emotional empathy to gaslight without triggering their cognitive empathy.
ADHD wiring leads to a complicated relationship with empathy. Our great thanks to Dr. Rosier for sharing her insights this week!