On Attachment #137: Self-Soothing for Anxious Attachment
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Apr 2, 2024 An insightful discussion on self-soothing for anxious attachment, emphasizing the struggles of relying on others for reassurance. The podcast covers mindset shifts and practices to build a self-soothing toolkit, empowering individuals to manage overwhelming emotions and enhance emotional well-being.
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Why Anxious Attachment Struggles with Self-Soothing
- Anxiously attached people often struggle with self-soothing because they lacked consistent co-regulation in childhood.
- This leads to a hyper-focus on external reassurance and neglect of self-regulation skills.
Inconsistent Co-Regulation Causes Anxiety
- Anxiously attached individuals received some safe co-regulation, but it was inconsistent, causing anxiety over connection loss.
- This hypervigilance on connection neglects development of self-soothing and self-regulation.
Avoidant Attachment's Self-Regulation Bias
- Avoidantly attached people often overdevelop self-regulation but avoid co-regulation due to early lack of safety.
- They rely heavily on self-soothing, contrasting anxiously attached who over-rely on co-regulation.