Charles Duhigg on how to become a supercommunicator
Jan 6, 2025
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In this engaging discussion, Charles Duhigg, a Pulitzer Prize-winning author and communication expert, shares his journey to mastering effective dialogue. He delves into how to navigate complex family dynamics and differing political views with empathy. Duhigg emphasizes the critical role of active listening and thoughtful questioning in creating strong relationships. He also highlights innovative techniques that enhance emotional intelligence and foster meaningful connections, ensuring conversations have a lasting, positive impact.
Super communication is a learnable skill, emphasizing active listening and empathy to enhance meaningful connections with others.
Emotional intelligence is vital for effective communication, as it helps individuals react positively to social cues and build relationships.
Deep dives
Defining Super Communication
Super communication involves the ability to connect meaningfully with others, often transcending casual relationships. It is not an innate talent but rather a set of skills that anyone can learn and apply. Effective super communicators know how to make others feel heard and understood through the intentional use of questions and active listening. They consciously engage in showing empathy, which fosters emotional connections even with those they don't know well.
The Role of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in effective communication, as supported by research and examples from NASA's astronaut selection process. NASA recognized that interpersonal conflicts on space missions could jeopardize missions, leading them to seek astronauts with high emotional intelligence. A key test identified those who could match emotional energy, demonstrating an ability to connect and empathize with others. This ability to react positively to social cues, such as laughter, is essential for creating bonds in conversations.
Techniques for Effective Conversations
One of the most effective techniques for enhancing communication is known as 'looping for understanding,' which helps ensure clarity and connection during discussions. In this approach, one starts by asking a deep question and then accurately paraphrasing the other person's response before confirming their understanding. This technique not only demonstrates active listening but also encourages reciprocal listening from the other party. Ultimately, the goal of effective communication is to foster understanding rather than to win arguments or debates.
Do you find yourself replaying an important conversation in your head and thinking - ‘why did I say that?’ Journalist and Pulitzer prize-winning author Charles Duhigg found himself at a similar impasse when he had to manage a project and struggled to connect with members of his team. So he learned everything he could about communication. Duhigg tells Reged Ahmad about the simple things anyone can do to improve their communication skills and why being a good listener is key You can support the Guardian at theguardian.com/fullstorysupport
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