How to Be More Alive with Cole Arthur Riley (Best Of)
Jan 12, 2025
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Cole Arthur Riley, acclaimed author of 'This Here Flesh,' discusses profound themes of body and self-acceptance in this engaging conversation. She reveals that relinquishing our connection to the body allows outside influences to shape us. Cole challenges societal beauty standards, asserting dignity as essential for living fully. The dialogue also explores the balance of fear and awe, highlighting the power of wonder as a remedy for despair. Ultimately, it invites listeners to embrace their narratives and recognize their inherent dignity.
Cole Arthur Riley emphasizes the necessity of being present in our bodies to fully embrace our own experiences and identities.
The conversation reveals the importance of dignity as foundational to feeling alive, especially when one has faced unloving environments.
Reflecting on belonging, Riley critiques communities that necessitate conformity, advocating instead for spaces that cherish authenticity and vulnerability.
Deep dives
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Introduction of 'The Next Right Book'
The concept of 'The Next Right Book' is introduced as an alternative to traditional book clubs, focusing on the idea that choices in literature can be made on a spontaneous basis without pressures of regular meetings or expectations. The speaker expresses a strong appreciation for the chosen book, 'This Here Flesh' by Cole Arthur Riley, highlighting its profound impact and the necessity for others to engage with it. This notion emphasizes a personal and immediate connection to literature, desiring readers to explore texts that resonate deeply with them individually. This initiative reflects a commitment to authenticity in one's reading journey without conformity to typical social structures.
Cole Arthur Riley and 'This Here Flesh'
Cole Arthur Riley's work, 'This Here Flesh,' is positioned as an essential read, encapsulating spirituality, liberation, and personal narratives that reflect her lived experiences as a Black queer woman. The conversation explores the themes of self-trust, and the struggles with anxiety and silence, painting a picture of Riley's journey toward self-acceptance and understanding of contemplation. Riley's creativity shines through her writing, described as a sacred text that interweaves personal and collective heritage. The authenticity of her voice invites readers to reflect on their spiritual journeys and embrace their identities fully.
Understanding Contemplation
The discussion delves into the meaning of contemplation, distinguishing it from mere analytical thinking and viewing it as a sacred attention to both the external world and one’s inner self. Unlike a pursuit of detached intellectualism, true contemplation involves a deep connection with one's body, emotions, and surroundings, creating a bridge between the internal and external realms. Riley recounts her familial mantra of 'pay attention,' suggesting that this practice of awareness fosters a deeper understanding of oneself and the sacredness of personal experiences. This perspective encourages a holistic engagement with spirituality that transcends traditional notions of contemplation.
The Role of Belonging in Spirituality
Belonging is explored as a pivotal aspect of personal identity and spiritual understanding, emphasizing that genuine acceptance does not require the sacrifice of one's authentic self. Cole reflects on her relationships with both spirituality and community, expressing skepticism towards spaces that demand conformity in beliefs for membership. A contrast is drawn between belonging that enforces specific doctrines and spaces that welcome diverse perspectives, including doubt and exploration. This complex relationship to belonging highlights the importance of nurturing communities that celebrate authenticity and vulnerability.
In this beautiful conversation–in which Glennon names Cole’s book “This Here Flesh” the Next Right Book–we discuss:
1. What we learned from Cole’s insight that, “If you’re not in your body, someone else is.”
2. A mind-blowing revelation about all of our own faces that we will never stop thinking about.
3. Why the phrase “If you don’t believe you’re beautiful, no one else will” is horseshit.
4. Why dignity is the bedrock to being alive–and how to find it when we haven’t been loved well.
5. The connection between fear and awe–and how to practice wonder as a cure for despair.
About Cole:
Cole Arthur Riley is a writer and poet. She is the author of the NYT bestseller, This Here Flesh: Spirituality, Liberation, and the Stories that Make Us. Her writing has been featured in The Atlantic, Guernica, and The Washington Post. Cole is also the creator and writer of Black Liturgies, a project that integrates spiritual practice with Black emotion, Black literature, and the Black body.
