#715 - Louise Perry - Are Women Actually Happy With Modern Dating?
Dec 4, 2023
01:41:28
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Louise Perry, a writer and Press Officer for the campaign group We Can’t Consent To This, discusses the challenges faced by young women in modern dating. Topics include the decline in marriage, the impact of MeToo, the unhappiness of young women, and the consequences of hormonal birth control. They explore feminism's influence on relationships, short-term gratification vs. long-term planning, and the dynamic of modern sexual culture. The podcast also touches on the Equal Rights Amendment, historical expectations of marriage, teenage girls' mental health, and the psychological reassurance of control.
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Quick takeaways
Young adults, especially women, perceive traditional marriage as less relevant due to societal changes and the Me Too movement.
Cultural norms and social influences play a significant role in declining birth rates and fertility decisions.
Societies oscillate between licentiousness and prudishness, influenced by cultural dynamics, technology, and hormone levels.
The Me Too movement has sparked discussions on consent, gender inequality, and changed interactions between men and women.
Deep dives
The challenges faced by young women in modern society
Young women have experienced significant changes and challenges over the past 50 years, including greater independence and freedom. However, research shows that many young adults, particularly women, believe that traditional marriage has become less relevant. This could be attributed to societal changes, such as the increase in single-parent households and the impact of the Me Too movement. Additionally, younger generations are shifting their views on relationships portrayed on TV shows, expressing a desire for more focus on platonic friendships rather than romance. It is important to recognize the varying perspectives and experiences of young women within the context of modern culture.
The impact of cultural influences on fertility rates
Birth rates have declined across many countries, with some falling well below replacement levels. This decline has varied cultural and societal factors at play. Social behavior is often influenced by what is considered normal or desirable within a given context. People are heavily influenced by the behaviors and choices of the people around them. This mimetic desire can shape individuals' decisions around family planning and impact fertility rates. The importance of societal norms, cultural aspirations, and the role of technology in fertility decisions cannot be discounted.
The paradox of licentiousness and prudishness in modern culture
Societies often oscillate between periods of licentiousness and prudishness. This pattern is a product of cultural dynamics and reactions to prevailing norms. Instances of licentiousness are followed by a growing sense of discomfort and criticism, leading to more conservative attitudes and a return to prudishness. However, the current iteration of prudishness may not be as extreme as historical periods due to advancements in technology and a changing material landscape. The interconnectedness between hormone levels, contraception, and societal norms also plays a role in shaping attitudes towards sex and relationships.
The complexities and impacts of the Me Too movement
The Me Too movement has had a profound impact on societal conversations around consent, sexual misconduct, and power dynamics. While its primary focus has been on addressing harassment and assault, the movement has also prompted broader discussions on gender inequality and relationships. The fallout of the Me Too movement has included various responses, ranging from increased awareness and accountability to concerns about false accusations and changed interactions between men and women. It remains a complex and evolving movement that has impacted individuals and communities in different ways.
The Influence of Social Norms and Historical Relationship Dynamics
The podcast explores the historical context of relationship dynamics, highlighting that the traditional model of arranged marriages was more common than the modern idea of starting relationships through casual encounters. It suggests that the expectation of marriage in the past was based on economic and reproductive factors rather than being best friends. The discussion also touches on the changing dynamics brought about by the sexual revolution and how the concept of confluent relationships, where partners focus on personal growth, clashes with the longstanding ideals of marriage.
Approach Anxiety and the Difficulty of Striking Up Conversations
The episode delves into the anxieties faced by men when approaching women and highlights the historical context of this issue. It emphasizes that the fear of approaching someone of interest is not a new challenge, as it has been prevalent throughout history. The conversation explores the potential reasons behind this anxiety, including societal expectations, cultural norms, and individual experiences. It underscores the importance of understanding the complexities of human interactions and the challenges faced in initiating connections.
The Complexities of Modern Relationships and Societal Expectations
The podcast touches on the evolution of societal expectations and the conflicting ideologies surrounding modern relationships. It explores the tension between traditional views of marriage as a tactical partnership and the contemporary emphasis on personal growth and benefit within a relationship. The episode suggests that this dichotomy, along with the pervasive influence of social media, creates challenges for individuals in navigating relationships. It also delves into the impact of social media on female intersexual competition and the potential effects on mental health and body image.
Louise Perry is a writer, Press Officer for the campaign group We Can’t Consent To This and an author.
Young women have been through turmoil over the last 50 years. With their entry into the workforce, emancipation from the kitchen and greater freedom and independence, you might think they have got everything they want out of life. But unfortunately, the reality may be less rosy.
Expect to learn why 40% of young adults say that marriage has outlived its usefulness, why younger generations see relationships in TV shows as an unnecessary addition, whether women are actually happy with the modern culture around sex, what the fallout of the MeToo movement has been, why young women are unhappier on average compared to previous generations and much more...
