Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon Connecting Through the Nervous System: Polyvagal Theory with Deb Dana
Dec 9, 2025
In this insightful discussion, Deb Dana, a leading translator of Polyvagal Theory, shares her expertise on how our nervous systems influence our connections. She explains neuroception and the three biological states that govern our responses, emphasizing that connection is rooted in biology, not cognition. Deb introduces 'glimmers,' tiny moments of safety, and provides practical practices to enhance our relationships through nervous-system awareness. Her journey in translating complex science into relatable practices has sparked a movement toward nurturing healthier connections.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Family Adopts Polyvagal Language
- Alexandra describes learning polyvagal language at a symposium and using it in the car with her son to label ventral, sympathetic, dorsal.
- That shift became a game changer for their family's communication and understanding.
Nervous System’s Unconscious Safety Check
- Neuroception is how the nervous system unconsciously listens inside the body, outside environment, and between nervous systems to answer "Am I safe?".
- This safety assessment happens before conscious thought and drives whether we can socially engage.
Name Your State To Co-Regulate
- Notice and name your bodily responses (e.g., tone of voice affects safety) and say what's happening in your system.
- Use co-regulation: report your felt experience rather than judging the other, to keep connection possible.
