Reimagining Love

When grappling with aspects of ourselves that we deem less good, less productive or less loveable, it may be tempting to completely write those parts off, or to hide them away in shame.  Today’s guest, Britt Frank, sits down with Dr. Alexandra to make a compelling case for why it is essential to use the power of parts work to embrace these aspects of ourselves so that we can make better sense of the full range of the human experience and show up more fully in our important relationships.  You will come away from this episode with:Inspiration to embrace all parts of yourself, good and “bad”Know-how to A.L.I.G.N your mind, using this acronym to work with your partsGreater “parts literacy” to navigate your relationships with more skill, understanding, and compassionA new perspective on Attachment Styles in relation to our parts“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraAlign Your Mind: Tame Your Inner Critic and Make Peace with Your Shadow Using the Power of Parts Work by Britt FrankLearn more about Britt Frank at https://www.brittfrank.com/Reimagining Love Episode, Finding The “Self”: Exploring Family Systems Therapy With Dr. Richard C. SchwartzOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question

In this episode, we introduce *Getting Better* with the fantastic Jonathan Van Ness. Each week Jonathan offers us tips and strategies to help us get a little bit better. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraReimagining Love Episode, “How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman”Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Dive into a mailbag of heartfelt listener questions about relationship challenges. Explore the complexities of love overshadowed by past connections, and learn about emotional healing and the impact of unresolved feelings. Discover tips on reclaiming emotional spaces after a breakup. The discussion also touches on hormonal health's role in relationships and the importance of communication. Get inspired to transform fears into love and embrace personal growth amid life's changes.

Sex isn't always easy to talk about, but today, you're going to hear from someone who is bringing the sexy back to sex ed. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Shan Boodram, a sexuality educator and certified sexologist, known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, and Ex-Rated on Peacock, as well as her MasterClass, “The Art of Seduction,” which leads folks through the fundamentals of flirting, intimacy, and how to foster deep physical and emotional connections. Shan’s approach to sex education is welcoming and approachable, and she has a reverence for this topic that is oh-so central to our humanity and aliveness. From re-defining the way we draw wisdom from the ancient Kama Sutra text, to even designing jewelry that encourages folks to reclaim their pleasure in the bedroom, Shan & this conversation will inspire you to see your and your partner’s sexuality with fresh eyes. And if you’re looking for practical advice on the art of seduction, you’ll get that in this episode, too (enter Shan’s iconic “sexy eye triangle” tip). There’s so much to glean from this episode, whether you’re looking to spice things up with your partner in the bedroom, move past sexual shame, or just see sex in a new way.You’ll come away from this episode with:A refreshed perspective on the “intimate self” and a reminder of how central our sexuality is to our humanityPractical tips for how to use flirting and seduction to connect with others, and even more importantly, with yourself New ideas for how to bring novelty, improved communication, and playfulness into the bedroom“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra“The Art of Seduction on MasterClass: masterclass.com/shanKäma, Shan's jewelry collaboration with SurmeyiShan’s websiteLOVERS by shan, Shan’s podcastOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Dr. Alexandra sits down with author and speaker Jennifer Pastiloff for a heartfelt conversation centered on vulnerability, new beginnings, and embracing joy through trying times. Jen’s candid sharing of her personal journey reminds us that we're constantly given opportunities to evolve ourselves, heal, and step more deeply into our authenticity. Jen and Dr. Alexandra also discuss navigating the "messy middle" after a breakup or divorce, and how we can begin again in life after facing bumps in the road. Jen's new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life, is out today and explores all of these topics and many more.You'll come away from this episode with:Hope & permission to live a bigger and more beautiful lifeReminders for how to cultivate emotional safety in your intimate partnerships, which will pave the way for deeper connectionA deeper understanding of the importance of "I Got You" people—the supportive folks in your circle who reflect your best self back to you—and clues for how to find themEmpowerment to feel joy and search for beauty even in the most difficult or heartbreaking chapters of your life“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraProof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life by Jennifer PastiloffOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, starting with today’s conversation from the archive with the inimitable relationship expert Esther Perel. They explore relational ambivalence and how to reignite the spark inside your relationship, and within yourself, inspired by a listener’s question. So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of the importance of rituals in maintaining connection amidst life's challengesA new perspective on the impact of external circumstances on anxiety in your relationships.The ability to recognize and respond to your partner's bids for connection.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:How do the macro issues of the world shape your love life today? To what degree are you able to give yourself permission for play and pleasure, even as the world feels so hard? What allows you to do that?In the clip, Esther reminds us that if you don’t know how to turn yourself on, there’s nothing your partner can do to turn you on. How are you finding ways to connect to your own aliveness? What are some things you can do this week, just for you, that could reinvigorate your internal spark? This could include engaging with nature, art, food, movement, or play.In this clip, Esther and Dr. Alexandra talk about how for a couple to create an experience together, one partner is the initiator and one is the responder. These roles aren’t fixed, but which role do you do you tend to find yourself in more? What do you like about being in each position, and what’s hard about each of them?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

The second mailbag episode of the summer is here! Hear Dr. Alexandra’s advice for three listeners from around the world, with three relationship dilemmas: the first is a fellow “Alexandra” who lives in England and is struggling with her blended family. Next, we hear from a listener in Hawaii who is trying to make a difficult decision about their relationship. Finally, Dr. Alexandra answers a question from a listener in the UK who is ready to have a baby…but her boyfriend is not. Listen to hear Dr. Alexandra’s guidance and submit your own question by following the link below."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Shannon Watts, founder of Moms Demand Action, channels her outrage over gun violence into meaningful activism. She discusses her transformation from sadness to righteous anger, encouraging others to trust their instincts and step into their purpose. The conversation dives into the complexities of navigating relationships amid societal change, the dual nature of anger, and the importance of emotional support in activism. Shannon also emphasizes that personal empowerment knows no age and inspires listeners to create impactful change in their communities.

We are all connected to folks with disabilities, whether they’re part of our inner circle, or members of our broader community. Unfortunately, there’s a great deal of stigmatization, misunderstanding, and judgement that crops up around disabled folks and their families. Parents of disabled children are traveling on a different path than other parents, and often need more support, but the people around them don’t always know how to provide it. Therapist Amanda Griffith-Atkins joins Dr. Alexandra on this episode to offer guidance to those parents, as well as the people around them. When Amanda’s son Asher was born, she discovered her life's purpose: to help parents of children with disabilities find their stride. She has become a leading expert in helping parents of kids with special needs navigate their emotions, relationships, and parenting, and her book, How to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child, is out in the world today. Amanda and Dr. Alexandra discuss parenting as well as the experience of partners who are raising a disabled child together and what this journey can bring up for couples. There’s so much goodness in this conversation for everyone, whether this is a new topic for you or one that’s near and dear to your heart."Your Anxiety Toolkit" on MasterClass: www.masterclass.com/youranxietytoolkitHow to Handle More Than You Can Handle: Caring for Yourself While Raising a Disabled Child by Amanda Griffith-AtkinsGot4titude, support and resources for fathers raising children with disabilitiesOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question