Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload!) and lots of that information is about mental health, wellness, and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us. Whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation. This creates insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior.Reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive. Originally released in September 2022, Dr. Alexandra and Dr. Thema Bryant discuss the importance of resting and of tapping into the things that make you feel truly alive. They also recognize that the ways the system impacts our sense of identity may hinder us from experiencing ease in rest or leisure. They invite us to incorporate these essential self-care acts into our lives little by little.Get out your favorite pen and journal to reflect on these perspectives:Many of your struggles are influenced by systemic issues and are not as personal as you might think. Acknowledging this makes a lot of the negative voices in our heads related to our worth less of a mystery - often, they did not come from us.Rest is a radical act of self-compassion and connection (and not selfish or lazy!), although many people find it very difficult to slow down for a variety of reasons, particularly those from historically excluded identities.While slowing down can feel overwhelming because it brings up avoided emotions, integrating this practice gradually, and slowly noticing the information our emotions provide us can allow us to tap into our truth.Journaling Prompts:How ​do ​the ​macro ​issues ​of ​the ​world ​shape ​your ​sense ​of ​yourself ​in ​this ​moment ​today? ​What ​do ​the ​voices ​in ​your ​head ​tell ​you ​about ​your ​worth? Did ​that ​voice ​come ​from ​you? ​How ​might ​you ​show ​up ​differently ​if ​you ​rejected ​what ​the ​voices ​told ​you ​when ​they ​told ​you ​negative ​things ​about ​your ​worth? ​What's ​your ​relationship ​with ​rest and ​stillness?  Is ​there ​some ​discomfort ​there? What, ​perhaps, ​keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​at ​ease ​while ​resting? What ​does ​it ​feel ​like ​in ​your ​body ​to ​be ​still, to ​do ​nothing, ​to ​not ​be ​productive? What ​does ​doing ​something ​just ​for ​the ​sake ​of ​doing ​it, ​not ​as ​a ​means ​to ​an ​end, but ​just ​to ​be ​in ​the ​moment - what ​does ​that ​feel ​like? ​What's ​coming ​up ​for ​you ​as ​we ​sit ​here ​together ​right ​now? ​What ​comes ​to ​mind ​when ​you ​are ​being ​invited ​to ​reconnect with ​​some ​neglected ​parts ​of ​yourself? ​What ​are ​you ​doing when ​you ​feel ​the ​most ​alive? What's ​the ​setting? ​What's ​the ​context? ​What ​time ​of ​day ​is ​it? What ​are ​you ​up ​to? What ​are ​the ​constraints ​to ​entering ​that ​space ​that ​makes ​you ​feel ​most ​alive? ​   What, ​perhaps, keeps ​you ​from ​feeling ​entitled ​to ​make ​space for ​that which ​makes ​you ​come ​alive? ​What ​is ​a ​pledge ​that you ​can ​make ​to ​yourself ​this ​week ​to ​carve ​out ​even ​the ​tiniest ​bit ​more ​space ​for ​rest, for ​stillness, for ​doing ​that ​which ​makes ​you ​feel ​alive? And ​if ​and ​when ​you ​carve ​out ​a ​little ​tiny ​bit ​more ​space, ​can ​you ​just ​notice ​and ​land ​and ​savor how you ​feel when ​you ​enter that ​space ​of ​rest and ​stillness?Resources worth mentioning from the episode:Reimagining Love episode, Coming Home to Ourselves: The Path to Thriving with Dr. Thema Bryanthttps://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/coming-home-to-ourselves-learning-to-thrive-with-dr-thema-bryant/Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self by Dr. Thema Bryant:https://bookshop.org/p/books/homecoming-healing-trauma-to-reclaim-your-authentic-self-thema-bryant/20204100?ean=9780593418321&next=tThe Homecoming Podcast:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-homecoming-podcast-with-dr-thema/id1471604689Dr. Thema’s Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.thema/Tricia Hershey’s The Nap Ministry (Healing via the REST IS RESISTANCE framework):https://thenapministry.wordpress.com/about/Managing Back to School Stress on MasterClass:  http://masterclass.com/backtoschoolCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: http://pesi.com/dralexandraContinue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/ 

Join a journey of self-improvement and wellness with a dash of humor! Discover tips and strategies that make mental health and financial wellness engaging and accessible. The host's lively conversations with experts turn complex topics into enjoyable discussions. Perfect for anyone looking to enhance their life a little bit each week!

Listeners dive into the emotional turmoil of infidelity, exploring the shame and trauma that often follows betrayal. A question about jealousy post-affair reveals the complexities of trust rebuilding. The challenges faced by an affair partner highlight the struggle for honesty in secretive relationships. With insights into cognitive dissonance, the discussion encourages self-awareness and personal accountability. The emphasis on healing together prepares listeners for a journey toward restoration and growth in their relationships.

Dr. Alexandra sits down with Case Kenny – creator, mindfulness expert, host of the podcast New Mindset, Who Dis? and author of That’s Bold of You and The Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark – to discuss how societal “shoulds” around dating and relationships can create rigid expectations and fear-based decisions. Instead, they invite us to lean into curiosity, optimism, and self-awareness to get what we want out of love and dating.Together, they dive into:Why the concept of “settling down” needs an upgrade—and what it means to “settle up” instead How understanding your “why” of dating shifts your whole approach Using the peak-end rule to reframe past dating experiences How showing up enthusiastically and with trust as the default right from the start can amplify your dating and relationship experiences            And so much more!“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraThe Opposite of Settling: How to Get Everything You Want Out of Love and Life Without Losing Your Spark by Case KennyInstagram @case.kennyLearn more about Case Kenny: https://www.casekenny.com/Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubmit a Listener Question

Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy and author of "But What Will People Say," explores the complex identity struggles of first-generation immigrants. She discusses balancing personal boundaries with cultural expectations and emphasizes the importance of empathy in navigating family dynamics. Listeners gain insights into healing generational wounds, the significance of culturally sensitive mental health care, and strategies for healthier relationships across cultural divides. A heartfelt conversation about love, identity, and emotional connection awaits!

Britt Frank, a renowned clinician and trauma specialist, joins the discussion with her insights on parts work. She encourages embracing all aspects of ourselves, even those we consider less lovable. Frank shares the power of transforming our inner critics into supportive allies. The conversation touches on the complexities of family dynamics and the significance of setting personal boundaries. Additionally, she highlights how understanding our inner parts can enhance interpersonal relationships, leading to deeper connections and personal growth.

Welcome to R&R: Revisit & Reflect, a new episode format here on the podcast. We’re living in a time of information abundance (sometimes information overload) and lots of that information is about mental health and relational health! But there’s a difference between consuming content and integrating it. When we consume, the information might just pass through us, whereas when we integrate, the information weaves its way into our unique story or situation, creating insight and the potential for a shift in mindset, in emotion, in belief, and in behavior. With these R&R episodes, you’ll reflect and journal with Dr. Alexandra to integrate core lessons from the podcast, continuing with today’s conversation from the archive with the esteemed Drs. John & Julie Gottman. The Gottmans share some of the most groundbreaking findings to ever come out of their Love Lab and discuss with Dr. Alexandra the relationship principle of “Small Things Often.” So, get out your favorite pen and journal and join in this summer reflection. You’ll come away from this episode with:A deeper understanding of how 'small things often' can create lasting bonds in your intimate partnerships.An opportunity to identify and appreciate the positive moments that contribute to your relationship's health.A framework for self-reflection with actionable journaling prompts to enhance intimacy.Journaling Prompts:What messages did you receive growing up, either from your family, your culture, or from media you consumed, about HOW to express love? In what ways were those messages limited, and how might you update them based on what you heard in this clip?What keeps you from making small gestures of love towards your partner / toward your past partner? What keeps you from ACCEPTING bids for connection from partners? Is it discomfort? If so, what specifically feels uncomfortable? Is it fear? If so, what specifically is the fear? Is it a feeling of unworthiness? If so, what do you want to remember about who you are?In the clip, the Gottmans remind us that our PERCEPTION of our partner can play a huge role in the dynamic, and that we might actually be missing positive moments and bids for connection that are already happening. Write down a commitment you want to make this week to help you to keep an eye out for the positive.What’s something you find beautiful about your partner, either inside or out? What would it be like to share this with them, without any agenda, but just because it might light them up?“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraReimagining Love Episode, “How to Love Well: The Little Things that Change Everything with Drs. John & Julie Gottman”Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Dive into a mailbag of heartfelt listener questions about relationship challenges. Explore the complexities of love overshadowed by past connections, and learn about emotional healing and the impact of unresolved feelings. Discover tips on reclaiming emotional spaces after a breakup. The discussion also touches on hormonal health's role in relationships and the importance of communication. Get inspired to transform fears into love and embrace personal growth amid life's changes.

Sex isn't always easy to talk about, but today, you're going to hear from someone who is bringing the sexy back to sex ed. Dr. Alexandra is joined by Shan Boodram, a sexuality educator and certified sexologist, known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot To Handle, The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, and Ex-Rated on Peacock, as well as her MasterClass, “The Art of Seduction,” which leads folks through the fundamentals of flirting, intimacy, and how to foster deep physical and emotional connections. Shan’s approach to sex education is welcoming and approachable, and she has a reverence for this topic that is oh-so central to our humanity and aliveness. From re-defining the way we draw wisdom from the ancient Kama Sutra text, to even designing jewelry that encourages folks to reclaim their pleasure in the bedroom, Shan & this conversation will inspire you to see your and your partner’s sexuality with fresh eyes. And if you’re looking for practical advice on the art of seduction, you’ll get that in this episode, too (enter Shan’s iconic “sexy eye triangle” tip). There’s so much to glean from this episode, whether you’re looking to spice things up with your partner in the bedroom, move past sexual shame, or just see sex in a new way.You’ll come away from this episode with:A refreshed perspective on the “intimate self” and a reminder of how central our sexuality is to our humanityPractical tips for how to use flirting and seduction to connect with others, and even more importantly, with yourself New ideas for how to bring novelty, improved communication, and playfulness into the bedroom“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandra“The Art of Seduction on MasterClass: masterclass.com/shanKäma, Shan's jewelry collaboration with SurmeyiShan’s websiteLOVERS by shan, Shan’s podcastOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question

Dr. Alexandra sits down with author and speaker Jennifer Pastiloff for a heartfelt conversation centered on vulnerability, new beginnings, and embracing joy through trying times. Jen’s candid sharing of her personal journey reminds us that we're constantly given opportunities to evolve ourselves, heal, and step more deeply into our authenticity. Jen and Dr. Alexandra also discuss navigating the "messy middle" after a breakup or divorce, and how we can begin again in life after facing bumps in the road. Jen's new book, Proof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life, is out today and explores all of these topics and many more.You'll come away from this episode with:Hope & permission to live a bigger and more beautiful lifeReminders for how to cultivate emotional safety in your intimate partnerships, which will pave the way for deeper connectionA deeper understanding of the importance of "I Got You" people—the supportive folks in your circle who reflect your best self back to you—and clues for how to find themEmpowerment to feel joy and search for beauty even in the most difficult or heartbreaking chapters of your life“Your Midyear Refresh” on MasterClass: masterclass.com/yourmidyearrefreshCouple Therapy Certification Course from PESI: pesi.com/dralexandraProof of Life: Let Go, Let Love, and Stop Looking for Permission to Live Your Life by Jennifer PastiloffOrder Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every DaySubscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s NewsletterSubmit a Listener Question