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Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage & Parenting
2044: [Part 2] Reclaiming Our Stories From Trauma by Jenny TeGrotenhuis with Gottman Institute on Finding Peace in Relationships
Jan 24, 2024
10:47
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Jenny TeGrotenhuis, expert in reclaiming stories from trauma, explores how trauma shapes present relationships, hindering genuine connection. Healing from past wounds involves challenging old beliefs, fostering trust and safety, and encouraging open communication and love in relationships.
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Quick takeaways
- Traumatic experiences in our past can shape our present relationships and lead to patterns of protection over connection.
- By letting go of expectations, embracing vulnerability, and turning towards each other with acceptance, individuals can experience the joy of safe and healthy relationships, fostering healing and growth.
Deep dives
Defensiveness Blocks Connection
Jenny, a depressed client, constantly felt overwhelmed and behind in her tasks at home and work, striving for perfection. Her behavior stemmed from her upbringing and traumatic experiences, where she learned to dismiss her own needs. Through therapy, she learned to let go of her old scripts and found safety and acceptance in her relationship with her husband Daniel. They practiced attuning to each other's emotions, discussing their real feelings in the present moment. Letting go of the pressure to perform and embracing authenticity led to a deeper connection and joy in their relationship.
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