Paths To Lust : Map Your Emotional Floorplan with Emily Nagoski
Feb 16, 2024
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Emily Nagoski, author of Come Together, introduces the Core Emotional Floorplan as a tool for understanding and sharing unique emotional experiences. The podcast focuses on mapping emotions to reach lust, exploring seek, care, and play within emotional floor plans, and navigating emotional spaces in relationships for enhanced intimacy.
Understanding emotional floorplan can lead to clearer communication and shared experiences.
Recognizing and navigating emotional spaces is vital for accessing the lust space in relationships.
Deep dives
Mapping Emotions as a Floor Plan
In this episode, Emily Nagoski discusses the concept of mapping emotions as a floor plan, which she describes as a game-changing strategy. She explains how the seven core emotions form the foundation of our emotional experiences and how these emotions are interconnected. Nagoski emphasizes the importance of understanding the different emotional spaces, including pleasure adverse spaces such as rage, fear, and panic grief, as well as pleasure favorable spaces like care, seeking, and play. She explores how navigating these emotional spaces can influence our ability to access the lust space, highlighting the significance of play in particular. Nagoski presents personalized emotional floor plans and emphasizes the need for communication and support from partners to transition between emotional states and ultimately reach the desired lust space.
Applying the Emotional Floor Plan
In this part of the podcast episode, the hosts discuss practical ways to apply the emotional floor plan. They talk about the importance of recognizing the emotional spaces they occupy and how it affects their pathways to lust. They highlight the significance of evolving conversations and communication within relationships, allowing dialogue around desires, boundaries, and emotional needs. The hosts also discuss the value of collaborative problem-solving and humor to navigate emotional spaces together. They emphasize the importance of honoring one another's emotional experiences and offering support in transitioning between spaces, providing examples from their own lives.
Understanding Emotional Spaces
Emily Nagoski introduces the concept of emotional spaces and provides insights into different emotions within the pleasure adverse and pleasure favorable categories. She defines rage as a biological motivation to remove obstacles and fear as a range of worry to terror. Nagoski also describes panic grief as a state of feeling trapped, isolated, and alone. She explores the emotional space of care, highlighting its complexity and the dualities involved in caretaking. Nagoski also explains seeking as the motivation for curiosity, exploration, and adventure. Finally, she discusses play as the mammalian motivational system for friendship and the importance of recognizing its various forms and personal preferences.
The Measure of Sexual Well-being
The podcast episode concludes with a discussion on redefining the measure of sexual well-being. Nagoski emphasizes that the key factor is not the frequency of sexual activity or the specific circumstances, but rather whether individuals enjoy the sex they are having. She challenges the notion of maintaining 'the spark' and spontaneous desire as the ultimate goal, reminding listeners that pleasure and playfulness should be at the forefront of sexual experiences. The hosts encourage a shift in focus towards a deep connection and authentic enjoyment, moving away from societal expectations and embracing one's unique pathways to pleasure.
Emily Nagoski shares the game-changing tool from her new book, Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections. The Core Emotional Floorplan is a framework that allows all of us to more clearly see and share their own unique emotional experience, and find pathways back home towards Care, Play and Lust. Join […]
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