The Kink Consultant What Your Kinks Say About You (According to Psychology) with Aubrey Aust
Oct 23, 2025
In this insightful conversation, Aubrey Aust, a graduate student at NYU and researcher in relational psychology, explores the fascinating intersection of BDSM, desire, and self-discovery. They discuss how kink functions as a 'relational laboratory' to build trust and safety. Aubrey dives into Freud's theories on fantasy and how childhood dynamics with parents influence adult desires. They also examine honesty’s role in intimacy, the therapeutic potential of kink, and the importance of somatic awareness in understanding consent.
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BDSM As A Relational Laboratory
- BDSM creates a relational laboratory to explore trust, safety, and desire in both language and body.
- Aubrey frames BDSM as a space to test how we build relational safety and selfhood.
Surgery Revealed An Ex's Unconscious Preference
- Amanda shares how her ex resisted her breast reduction because of his unconscious attachment to his mother's body.
- That therapy moment revealed how early family images shape adult sexual preferences.
Freud's Value Despite Flaws
- Freud still offers useful ideas about unconscious fantasy even if many of his specifics are outdated.
- Aubrey uses Freud as a starting point to discuss how unconscious drives shape sexual desire.