AI Snips
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Morning Dog Pack Attack
- A roving pack of feral dogs terrorizes Night Vale, described as mostly mutts and a three-headed leader with medals.
- Sheriff secret police report minor injuries as children used school-issued nerve gas and pistols to defend themselves.
Parks Department Pesticide Warning
- The parks department will spray pesticide Friday afternoon and asks residents to stay indoors from 1pm Friday to 10pm Saturday.
- The announcement warns of serious side effects and notes the pesticide's 2,100-year half life.
Dumpster Raids Behind The Library
- Wayn Tyler reported the dog pack rummaging dumpsters behind the library and stealing items including two homeless men.
- The broadcast warns library patrons and notes overdue book penalties now include jaw mutilation after 30 days.