Moving Beyond The Self-Improvement Trap With Steve March (Aletheia Coaching)
Nov 30, 2023
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Self-improvement expert Steve March discusses the potential pitfalls of the self-improvement trap and explores the alternative approach of self-unfoldment. They delve into embodying innate wholeness, recognizing protector parts within ourselves, and living responsively in the face of uncertainty. They also explore the need for a shift in being human and discuss the importance of reconnecting with one's true self. Overall, the conversation touches upon the limitations of self-improvement and offers insights into embracing personal growth through self-unfoldment.
Self-improvement can create a never-ending cycle of deficiency and the need for more improvement.
Transitioning from the improvement paradigm to the unfoldment paradigm emphasizes recognizing our inherent wholeness and exploring present moment experiences.
Shifting to a poetic attunement allows for more presence, playfulness, and responsive engagement with life, embracing the freedom and diversity of human experience.
Deep dives
The self-improvement paradigm can create a trap of perpetual self-deficiency.
Self-improvement can lead to a never-ending cycle of feeling the need for more improvement, resulting in a sense of deficiency. This trap is reinforced as we continuously seek self-improvement but tend to overlook our innate wholeness and resources. The self-unfoldment paradigm offers an alternative approach, emphasizing meeting reality and what arises in the moment to deepen self-contact and access inner wisdom and creativity.
Shift from improvement to unfoldment to escape the trap.
Transitioning from the improvement paradigm to the unfoldment paradigm is a crucial distinction. While self-improvement focuses on what is missing and aims to acquire or develop it, unfoldment challenges the assumption of lack and asks, 'What if nothing is missing?' The shift involves recognizing that inherent wholeness and exploring the embodied experiences and resources available in the present moment. This alternative paradigm complements improvement efforts while offering a more sustainable way to navigate life's complexities.
Poetic attunement versus technological attunement.
Poetic attunement, as opposed to technological attunement, involves shifting our way of relating to the world. Technological attunement views ourselves and others as utilities, focusing on efficiency, productivity, and optimization. In contrast, poetic attunement recognizes the freedom and diversity of human experience, bringing forth wisdom and contact with truth, beauty, and goodness. Embracing the poetic attunement allows for more presence, playfulness, and responsive engagement with life.
An ontological shift to address the meta crisis.
The current meta crisis, characterized by various forms of collapse in our society, necessitates an ontological response. Our way of being human is the common root cause of these crises. Shifting to an unfolding paradigm becomes crucial in rebuilding society. It involves recognizing the emergent nature of complex systems, engaging in safe-to-fail experiments, and leveraging wisdom and resourcefulness to navigate uncertainty. An ontological response is essential in re-enchanting life, bringing an integrated perspective to spirituality, and taking us toward a sustainable and resilient future.
Unfolding a new way of being human for societal transformation.
Unfoldment offers a pathway to reinventing our way of being human amidst crises. By shifting from a technological and self-improvement-focused mindset, we can explore the depth and wisdom within ourselves and engage with the world in a responsive and poetic way. Incorporating the unfolding paradigm into various domains, such as coaching, corporate environments, and personal lives, enables a reintegration of spirituality, humanity, and creative navigation of complexity. The aim is to collectively break together and cultivate a more sustainable, adaptive, and wise way of being human.
Our society is obsessed with self-improvement. This was a major feature of how I related to reality for most of my life. As helpful as self-improvement can be, it also has a major shadow side that largely goes unexamined.
Implicit in the pursuit of self-improvement is that there is a deficit; that whatever or however your being is in this moment is not whole or complete. This keeps you grasping in a seemingly endless treadmill without ever reaching an enduring sense of completion or fulfillment.
Most people don’t really even know there is an alternative to the self-improvement paradigm. This is one of the main topics of today’s conversation with Steve March, the founder of Aletheia Coaching.
Some of my other favorite ideas include:
Why self-improvement on its own can be a trap
Striking the balance between self-improvement and self-unfoldment
How to practically embody a more unfoldment experience
Understanding how solutions and support often arise when we allow them vs. exert force
How shifting our attunement and unfoldment might be an answer to our current metacrisis
