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How To!

Supercommunicators | 3. How to Have the Hardest Conversations

Mar 12, 2025
In a riveting discussion, Vernā Myers, Netflix’s former vice president for inclusion strategy, shares her experiences navigating tough conversations at the company, particularly following a racially charged incident. She highlights the vital role of establishing ground rules and emotional connections to foster safer dialogues. Joined by psychologist Jay Van Bavel, they delve into strategies for tackling the hardest chats, encouraging listeners to confront their anxieties and transform personal narratives into bridges for understanding.
30:40

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Quick takeaways

  • Establishing ground rules for difficult conversations helps alleviate anxiety, enabling respectful and constructive dialogue among participants.
  • Sharing personal experiences during discussions fosters deeper connections and understanding, promoting a more inclusive workplace environment and culture.

Deep dives

The Catalyst for Internal Conflict

A pivotal incident in February 2018 at Netflix sparked significant internal discord when the company's chief communications officer addressed offensive language in a newly released comedy special. The controversy arose from comedian Tom Segura's comments about Down syndrome, which prompted the executive to acknowledge the potential fallout, likening the impact of slurs to the pain experienced by African-Americans exposed to historical racial slurs. This analogy led to the firing of the executive, Jonathan Friedland, after allegations of him using racial slurs in meetings with staff. The fallout revealed a division in perspectives among employees; some felt the firing was unjust while others believed that any use of such language, regardless of context, indicated a lack of understanding regarding its harmful effects.

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