#168 Helping Kids with Feelings & Friendships | Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore
Jul 11, 2023
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Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore, an expert in helping children develop better relationships with their emotions and friendships, discusses teaching children about friendship and emotions, conflict resolution, developing discernment in friendships, handling teasing and bullying, and the importance of teaching kids about friendships and emotions. She empowers children and parents with practical strategies and insights.
Teaching children skills related to emotions and friendship is crucial for their development, as it can lead to happiness, engagement in school, dealing with bullying, and managing stress.
Parents play a vital role in teaching children about friendship and emotions, and they can demonstrate the value of friendship by making time for their own friendships and fostering one-on-one get-togethers for their children, which deepens friendships.
Deep dives
The Power of Friendship and Emotional Skills in Children
Teaching children skills related to emotions and friendship is crucial for their development. Friendship is the answer to various aspects of a child's life, including happiness, engagement in school, dealing with bullying, and managing stress. By fostering these skills early on, children can establish better relationships and emotional well-being that can benefit them throughout their lives. Friendship skills, including reaching out, stepping back, blending in, speaking up, and letting go, are vital for developing strong and lasting friendships. Additionally, understanding and managing emotions are keys to navigating friendships successfully. Teaching kids the components of a feelings story, such as event, thoughts, feelings, actions, and reactions, empowers them to communicate, cope with, and understand their own and others' emotions. By equipping children with these skills, they can handle conflicts, make meaningful connections, and develop healthy relationships.
Empowering Children to Handle Teasing and Bullying
Teasing and bullying are challenges that many children face, and it's essential to help them navigate these situations. While teasing can be handled by teaching kids appropriate responses, bullying requires adult intervention. Parents can support children by encouraging them to stand near friends or teachers, which can reduce the likelihood of bullying. Rehearsing and empowering children with responses, such as using strong statements in a loud voice, can act as social control and draw attention to the situation. By teaching children how to differentiate between teasing and bullying, parents can empower them to recognize and address harmful behavior, ensuring their emotional well-being and safety.
The Importance of Friendship and Emotional Skills in Parenting
Parents play a vital role in teaching children about friendship and emotions. They can demonstrate the value of friendship by making time for their own friendships and fostering one-on-one get-togethers for their children, which deepens friendships. Parents can also guide children in understanding and expressing their emotions appropriately, helping them develop empathy and relationship-building skills. By placing a high value on friendship, parents can show their children the importance of investing time and effort into building and maintaining positive relationships. Additionally, parents should provide a safe and supportive environment where children can share their experiences, concerns, and successes, allowing them to develop a strong sense of connection and confidence in navigating the complexities of friendships.
Preparing Children for Social Situations and Challenges
Children face various social situations and challenges as they navigate through life. Parents can assist children by helping them develop specific skills tailored to those situations. For example, providing children with scripts and rehearsing responses to teasing can empower them to handle such situations confidently. Teaching children the essentials of greeting others, matching the emotional tone of a group, and using the 'great plus one fact' formula for small talk equips them with vital social skills to initiate and sustain conversations. Parents should encourage children to observe and understand different perspectives, fostering empathy and conflict resolution abilities. By preparing children with these skills, parents enable them to engage effectively in social interactions, build meaningful connections, and navigate challenging social situations with confidence.
We all know that when we invest a dollar well, over time with compounding interest, the dollar blossoms in value. Yet, the same can be said for our habits and behaviors. When we cultivate good habits and behaviors, over time they can pay us back with compounding interest as well.
And this idea relates perfectly to what my guest is working on with children—fostering skills that may pay dividends for the rest of their lives by helping them develop better relationships with their emotions and their friends. As a psychologist who has seen the importance of skills relating to emotions and friendship, I believe early intervention could be a major difference maker. Simply put, I’m blown away by my colleague and new friend, Dr. Eileen Kennedy Moore (https://eileenkennedymoore.com/) and her outstanding work. Eileen is a psychologist in private practice in Princeton, NJ, the author of multiple books written for parents and children, including her most recent, Growing Feelings: A Kids' Guide to Dealing with Emotions about Friends and Other Kids, co-written with Christine McLaughlin. Eileen is a major thought leader in psychology, and she is also the host of a podcast about children and friendship that I love called Kids ask Dr. Friendtastic.
As you’ll hear, she’s super engaging, her tips are on-point, and she has the ability to relay her wisdom in a manner that will empower children and parents.
Many adult listeners may listen to this episode and think, “I wish I had an Eileen when I was a kid.” Well, if you have a theme or variation of that thought, take heart in knowing I thought that too. Please know it’s not too late to incorporate her wisdom as an adult and that you can pass it on to the children in your life.
So, listen in as Eileen and I talk about children, friendship, and emotions. Book link: https://amzn.to/43jEIRE This is an affiliate link. It will provide me with a small commission on purchases made through it and help the podcast (but it won’t affect the price you pay). Link to Dr. Kennedy Moore’s Kids Ask Dr. Friendtastic Podcast; https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/kids-ask-dr-friendtastic/id1668562771
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