Andrew Warner, an entrepreneur and host of the Startup Stories podcast, shares insights from his extensive experience interviewing top founders. He reveals techniques to foster genuine conversations, emphasizing that sharing a bit about yourself can encourage others to open up. Using strategic phrases like “Because?” or “How so?” can deepen dialogue significantly. Warner also discusses the importance of storytelling and how non-traditional questioning can enhance communication in both personal and professional settings.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Reciprocal Vulnerability
To get others to open up, reveal something personal about yourself first.
Reciprocation isn't immediate; create a comfortable atmosphere for sharing over time.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
The Power of "Because"
Use the word "because" to encourage deeper explanations in conversations.
This simple prompt signals curiosity and invites further elaboration.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Prompting with "How So?"
Instead of complex questions, use simple prompts like "How so?" to encourage detailed responses.
This invites story-telling and deeper engagement in conversations.
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Andrew Warner's "Stop Asking Questions" offers valuable insights into the art of conducting impactful interviews and fostering meaningful conversations. The book draws upon Warner's extensive experience hosting over 2,000 interviews on his podcast, Mixergy. It emphasizes the importance of shifting from a purely question-based approach to incorporating statements and creating a more engaging dynamic. Warner shares practical techniques for building rapport, eliciting deeper responses, and navigating challenging conversational moments. The book is a valuable resource for anyone seeking to improve their interviewing skills or master the art of meaningful dialogue.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Dale Carnegie
First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].
Andrew Warner: Stop Asking Questions
Andrew Warner is an entrepreneur and host of the Startup Stories podcast, where he uncovers the secrets of the world’s best founders. Over the course of 2,000+ episodes, Andrew has interviewed everyone from Barbara Corcoran, to Gary Vaynerchuk, to the founders of Airbnb.
After building two startups of his own—one successful and one that failed—Andrew started Mixergy as a way to learn from other entrepreneurs. Today, Mixergy is a place where successful people teach ambitious upstarts through interviews, courses, masterclasses, and events. He is the author of Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone*.
In this conversation, Andrew and I discuss what he’s learned about getting people to talk from thousands of hours of interviews and research. We explore some of the key tactics that he uses to help people open up in a genuine way. Plus, we discuss some common questions to avoid that may work against your goal to connect well with the other party.
Key Points
Help others get comfortable talking about themselves by revealing something about yourself first. They may not reciprocate immediately, but it often opens the door for future depth.
Just a word or two can open up an entire new level of a conversation. Try using “Because?” or “How so?” as ways to hear more.
People expect leaders to show up and have a direction for the conversation. Not everything needs to be phrased as a question — you may consider making requests like, “Tell me more,” to direct to conversation.
Avoid asking questions that try to get people to articulate “most” or “best” answers. People spend too much mental bandwidth trying to rank-order instead of just engaging with the dialogue.
When potentially uncomfortable situations come up, allow people an easy way out by giving them two paths they can go down.
Resources Mentioned
Stop Asking Questions: How to Lead High-Impact Interviews and Learn Anything from Anyone* by Andrew Warner
Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
The Way to Have Conversations That Matter, with Celeste Headlee (episode 344)
How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
Four Habits That Derail Listening, with Oscar Trimboli (episode 500)
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