Hidden Brain Reframing the Battle of Wills
Oct 27, 2025
Stuart Ablon, a Harvard psychologist and author of "Changeable," dives into the intricacies of behavior change and skill-building. He challenges the belief that misbehavior stems from willpower rather than skill deficits, emphasizing that children often lack cognitive tools rather than motivation. Ablon introduces the concept of Collaborative Problem Solving, highlighting empathy and joint solutions as key to fostering lasting change. He shares practical insights and success stories that reveal the power of reframing our approach to behavior management.
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Apology After A Violent First Day
- Stuart Ablon recounts being spat at and later apologized to by a distraught adolescent named Jason.
- The apology revealed regret and hinted that the behavior came from lack of control, not malice.
Working Memory Is The Cognitive Shelf
- Working memory and executive functions act as a cognitive 'shelf' that holds multiple pieces of information during conversation and action.
- Deficits in these skills explain many everyday struggles like disorganization and conversational shutdowns.
Avoid The A-C Split Trap
- Avoid the A-C split trap (impose will vs. give up) and adopt Plan B instead.
- Be strategic if you choose Plan C temporarily, but don't confuse it with giving up.
