Triggered Again: Understanding Our Reactions to Kids' Behaviors (With Elisabeth Corey)
Sep 17, 2024
45:14
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In this discussion, trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey shares her journey of healing from severe childhood trauma while navigating the challenges of parenting twins. She highlights how unresolved past hurts manifest in our reactions to our children's behaviors, urging parents to explore these triggers with curiosity and self-compassion. Elisabeth emphasizes the importance of genuine engagement rather than scripted responses, encouraging emotional processing to foster deeper connections and understanding within the family. Through personal insights, she illustrates the transformative power of acknowledging emotions in parenting.
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Quick takeaways
Understanding that emotional reactions to parenting often stem from unresolved past traumas can facilitate healing and healthier family dynamics.
Emotional journaling serves as an effective tool for parents to uncover and address the origins of their feelings, promoting self-compassion.
Deep dives
Understanding Trauma and Parenting
Parenting can trigger unresolved traumas from one's own childhood, often revealing deep-seated fears and insecurities that had been suppressed. Many parents, despite having no overt memories of trauma, may feel anxious and overwhelmed when caring for their children, indicating that past pain is influencing their present experiences. This realization can prompt introspection, leading to the awareness that emotional responses to parenting situations might be rooted in unresolved issues. Recognizing these triggers is the first step toward healing and fostering healthier relationships with one’s children.
The Role of Emotional Journaling
Emotional journaling emerges as a powerful tool for parents to navigate their feelings and uncover underlying trauma. By writing about their experiences, parents can trace their emotions back to their origins, often revealing insights about how past experiences shape their current reactions. This practice not only facilitates memory recovery but also helps differentiate between instinctual parental concerns and projections of unresolved fears. Writing can create a safe space for parents to explore their emotions and begin the journey toward self-compassion and understanding.
Children as Mirrors of Our Emotions
Children often serve as mirrors, reflecting their parents' unprocessed emotions, which can lead to a heightened awareness of one’s own unresolved trauma. When parents notice significant emotional reactions to their children's behaviors, it is crucial to explore the origins of these feelings rather than simply attempting to manage or suppress them. This process encourages curiosity about emotional responses, allowing parents to identify deeper connections to their past. Understanding that children pick up on emotional incongruence can foster more authentic connections between parents and their children, emphasizing the importance of emotional honesty.
Breaking the Cycle of Toxic Patterns
Healing from childhood trauma requires confronting and breaking free from toxic patterns that may have been passed down through generations. Acknowledging that past experiences influence current parenting styles can empower individuals to create healthier environments for their children. Parents who are aware of these patterns can learn to trust themselves, recognizing that their worth is not determined by their past or their parenting mistakes. Developing self-compassion and vulnerability allows parents to nurture both their emotional well-being and that of their children, ultimately fostering a more supportive family dynamic.
Trauma survivor Elisabeth Corey returns to ‘Unruffled’ to share healing insights she's gained from her intense struggles as a parent of twins. The emotional reactions our kids stir up in us can take us by surprise. Worse, they can keep us feeling stuck repeating dynamics with our kids that seem to be driving us apart. We often know how we "should" respond but can't remain calm enough to do that in the moment! As Elisabeth explains, our reactions are often indicators of past hurts that need healing, and she inspires us to explore them with curiosity and self-compassion, showing us the way in this episode.
You can learn more about Elisabeth and access her resources at: BeatingTrauma.com.
Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.
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