The Hardcore Self Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

428: Overcoming Self-Hatred with Dr. Blaise Aguirre

Jan 24, 2025

Dr. Blaise Aguirre, a world-renowned psychiatrist and DBT expert, dives deep into the complexities of self-hatred. He discusses how self-hatred often stems from early life experiences and differs from self-criticism. Dr. Aguirre shares practical tools for healing, emphasizing the importance of recognizing toxic relationships and identifying the roots of these damaging beliefs. With insights from his upcoming book, he highlights the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy and the critical role of compassionate treatment for those struggling with self-loathing.

01:09:33

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Episode guests

Blaise Aguirre

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

Self-hatred often stems from early life experiences of invalidation, teaching individuals to adopt harmful beliefs about their self-worth.

Implementing therapeutic techniques like opposite action can help individuals counter self-hatred by promoting self-care and positive influences.

Normalizing discussions about self-hatred in clinical settings aids in uncovering and addressing deeply rooted negative beliefs, fostering recovery.

Deep dives

Compassionate Care for BPD

Many patients with borderline personality disorder (BPD) face stigma and blame when they struggle with their treatment, which is often not the case for patients with other chronic illnesses like cancer or diabetes. This inequity reveals a broader issue regarding societal attitudes toward mental health, where patients are often seen as 'difficult' or 'challenging.' The speaker notes that despite a history of institutionalized and harsh treatments, adopting a compassionate approach in clinical settings can significantly improve outcomes. For instance, in a dedicated dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) unit, the speaker reports minimal use of restraints or medication, demonstrating that compassionate treatment aligns with patients' needs and leads to better recovery.

Intro

4min

A Psychiatrist's Journey: Faith and Inquiry

6min

Transforming Lives with DBT

8min

Breaking Down Stigma and Embracing Compassionate Treatment for BPD

5min

Understanding Self-Hatred

23min

Confronting Self-Hatred

21min

Upcoming Book Release and Adolescent Mental Health Work

3min

In today’s episode of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with world-renowned psychiatrist, author, and DBT expert Dr. Blaise Aguirre to tackle the complex topic of self-hatred. As a pioneer in the treatment of borderline personality disorder (BPD) and adolescent mental health at McLean Hospital, Dr. Aguirre offers a compassionate and illuminating perspective on how self-hatred forms, why it’s so persistent, and how we can work toward healing.

Dr. Aguirre explains why self-hatred is often learned early in life through invalidating experiences and abusive environments and why it differs from self-criticism or depression. He introduces practical tools to break free from self-loathing, such as identifying its roots, recognizing toxic relationships, and taking steps to separate identity from these damaging beliefs.

We also discuss the challenges of treating patients with self-hatred, the transformative power of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and how his latest book, I Hate Myself, provides a groundbreaking resource for those suffering from this deeply ingrained struggle.

If you’ve ever wrestled with feelings of unworthiness or struggled to overcome negative beliefs about yourself, this episode is packed with strategies, hope, and actionable advice to help you move toward a healthier relationship with yourself.

Chapters:

00:15 — Introduction: Meet Dr. Blaise Aguirre 02:00 — From Philosophy to Psychiatry: Dr. Aguirre’s Career Path 07:30 — Understanding Self-Hatred: How It Develops and Why It Persists 15:00 — The Role of Validation in Parenting and Mental Health 20:45 — The DBT Approach: Why Skills-Based Therapy Works for BPD and Self-Hatred 27:00 — Breaking Down Self-Hatred: Separating It from the Self 34:20 — Overcoming Self-Hatred: Practical Tools and Steps for Healing 40:15 — The Importance of Compassionate Treatment in Mental Health Care 45:00 — A Sneak Peek Into I Hate Myself 50:20 — What Parents and Caregivers Need to Know 57:00 — Dr. Aguirre’s Final Thoughts on Healing and Hope

About the Podcast

I’m Dr. Robert Duff, a clinical psychologist and the host of the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. My mission is to break down complex mental health topics into relatable, actionable advice. On this podcast, we dive deep into mental health, personal development, and the strategies that help us thrive. Each episode features expert interviews, practical tips, and answers to listener questions, all designed to help you live a healthier, more fulfilled life.

Guest Links:

Dr. Blaise Aguirre’s Website: www.IHateMyselfBook.com
Learn More About DBT: McLean Hospital’s DBT Program
I Hate Myself: Dr. Aguirre’s Latest Book (Coming February 2025)

Connect With Me:

Website: duffthepsych.com
Instagram: @duffthepsych
YouTube: Dr. Duff’s Channel

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