The Connected Life 348: How to Get What You Want
Sep 1, 2025
Discover the hidden dynamics behind relationship conflicts, where anxiety often overshadows the real issues. Explore how childhood experiences shape our ability to advocate for our needs while navigating power struggles with curiosity and collaboration. Learn practical negotiation strategies that foster emotional safety and understanding, whether in parenting or partnership. The conversation highlights the power of empathy and the joy of celebrating community engagement, creating deeper connections and healthier relationships.
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Conflict Is Competing Anxiety
- Most relationship conflict is about whose anxiety gets soothed, not the surface issue.
- Framing fights as competing anxieties reveals why tug-of-wars feel existentially high-stakes.
Childhood Programs Your Negotiation Style
- Childhood experiences shape whether you expect your wants to be met in relationships.
- Those early beliefs drive tactics like fighting, hoarding, or passivity in adult partnerships.
Define Needs Versus Wants First
- Distinguish needs (safety, food, healthy communication) from wants before negotiating.
- Use that clarity to choose what is negotiable and what is nonnegotiable in the relationship.