The Connected Life

Most of us say we want to be loved — but for many of us, when it shows up at our doorstep, it stirs up panic, self-doubt, and the urge to run. But what if allowing people to love us could feel comfortable and completely normal? In this episode, Justin, Abi, and their long-time friend Rachel unpack what it means to build emotional distress tolerance—not just for pain, but for goodness. They explore why being seen, supported, or chosen can feel so threatening when your nervous systems is used to disappointment or self-reliance. From unexpected gifts to unwavering kindness, they share personal stories of the discomfort that arises when love challenges your core beliefs about worth, safety, and identity. Lastly they discuss how expanding your capacity to sit with uncomfortable feelings—without numbing, blaming, or ejecting—can radically transform your relationships. If you've ever felt overwhelmed by love, unsure how to receive it, or scared it might not last—this conversation will help you grow your capacity to let love in, one moment at a time. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to be with uncomfortable emotions—only how to avoid, suppress, or get overwhelmed by them. The unfortunate result is disconnection in relationships and more suffering. But what if the real secret to healing and creating secure relationships isn't about fixing the pain, but learning how to be with it? In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by longtime friend and consultant Rachel to unpack the rarely talked about skill of emotional distress tolerance—what it is, why we need it, and how it becomes the key to emotional maturity. They get personal, sharing how PTSD, eating disorders, conflict avoidance, and financial stress exposed the places where they felt fragile—and how they built emotional strength, one small challenge at a time. If you've ever found yourself avoiding painful or difficult circumstances and want the skills necessary to get healthy and become a badass at facing life, this convo is a game-changer! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Discover how disconnection from our bodies and emotions affects our lives. Justin and Abi share personal stories about burnout and survival, highlighting how their recent sabbatical reshaped their journey. They discuss the importance of nervous system regulation, the impact of inherited trauma, and the value of slowing down. The duo emphasizes that true healing comes from feeling safe, not just trying harder. Tune in for insights on parts work and the necessity of restorative practices for lasting transformation.

We've all been in situations where conflict slowly builds between us and someone else, only to find ourselves acting in ways we're not proud of. Suddenly, we're asking, "How did I get here, and how can I stop this from happening again?" Yet, we often repeat these cycles, unsure of how to break free. It's challenging for everyone involved—but there are solutions! In part one of this two-part episode, Justin and Abi explore how our nervous system can throw a massive monkey wrench into relational dynamics. They also share critical telltale signs of a dysregulated nervous system. Lastly, they open up about their own marriage and apologize to one another for how their dysregulation has impacted each other. This two part series is a game changer for any relationship. You won't want to miss out! You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Relationships often suffer from old, unresolved stories. Justin and Abi candidly share their journey through trauma bonding and codependency. They explore the chaos that resulted from their past wounds and the intense moments that almost tore them apart. The couple emphasizes the importance of self-healing over trying to fix one another. With insights on emotional resilience, boundaries, and personal growth, they encourage listeners to find hope and authenticity in their own relationships.

In this heartfelt episode, Justin and Abi discuss the profound impact grief and suffering have on humanity, exploring how the radical love of God can overcome the despair and hopelessness we all face during overwhelming and painful experiences. Justin shares his personal journey of nearly losing Abi to her illness, revealing how his breaking point became a turning point for hope and freedom. Abi reflects on how her struggles have redefined her understanding of God's love. Together, they offer a fresh perspective on suffering and fondly recount the goodness of a Creator who has remained tangible and faithful throughout their journey. If life has been a bumpy ride for you, this episode offers a new lens—helping you see beyond the suffering to a faithful, loving Creator who willingly steps into the messiest parts of the human condition. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Betrayal cuts deep—not just because of the actions themselves, but because of what they shake inside of us. We choose to trust, to be vulnerable, to let someone in… only to have that trust disregarded. The pain isn't just in the betrayal itself—it's in the shame, the humiliation, and the reality-shattering confusion that follows. In this episode, Justin and Abi unpack the emotional toll of betrayal and why it feels so destabilizing. They explore how gaslighting fuels the madness, why short-term efforts at repair aren't enough to rebuild trust, and how holding strong boundaries is essential in the aftermath. They also discuss the power of love—not as something that makes us weak in the face of betrayal, but as a force that allows us to rise above it, freeing us from shame and reclaiming our self-worth. Betrayal is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to define us. If you've ever struggled to make sense of betrayal—or want to learn how to rebuild trust without losing yourself—this episode is for you. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

We've all experienced those people that seem hot one minute and cold the next. Their mixed signals keep us wondering if they want to be besties or secretly planning our demise. The ups and downs of it can feel like a whiplashing rollercoaster. Solving the mystery can seem impossible, but we might just have your answers! In this episode, Justin and Abi are joined by their long-time friend and fellow Life Consultant, Rachel, to shine a light on disorganized attachment and its impact on relationships. As three people who've operated out of it, they unpack the origins of this pattern, the push-pull dynamics it creates, and the internal shame, fear, and powerlessness that come with it. From childhood trauma to emotional incest, they reflect on how early wounds shape our nervous systems—and what it takes for people with disorganized attachment to create stable connections. If you've ever felt like you're too much, too broken, or too confusing to love… this episode is for you. There is a path toward clarity, healing, and secure connection—and it starts with understanding. Don't miss out. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Most of us were never taught how to feel emotions—let alone how to express them in a way that feels safe for us and the people we love. From family dynamics to gender norms to childhood survival strategies, our emotional patterns were shaped long before we had words to describe them. In this episode, Justin and Abi dive into one of the most common relationship struggles: how we respond to emotions—both our own and others'. They explore the battle between "too emotional" and "not emotional enough," sharing personal stories that reveal just how often those extremes are shaped by past pain. They also break down what's really happening in these moments—threat responses, nervous system dysregulation, and internalized judgments—and show what it looks like to feel without becoming consumed. Whether you've ever been shut down for having big feelings or felt overwhelmed by someone else's, this conversation will help you understand where those reactions come from and how to move toward emotional safety—for you and the people you care about. You won't want to miss this episode—it might just shift how you see emotional connection altogether. You can WATCH us at https://www.justinandabi.com/theconnectedlife Don't forget to RATE, REVIEW, SUBSCRIBE, AND SHARE!

Explore how childhood influences emotional expression in adult relationships. Discover the chaos caused by nonverbal communication and the pressure to mind-read in couples. Learn the dangers of suppressing feelings and how they can escalate into aggression. The hosts share practical tips for developing emotional vocabulary and fostering safer communication. A discussion on assumptions and the importance of curiosity adds depth to the conversation. This insightful dialogue sets the stage for healthier emotional connections.