Laurence and Emily Alison, esteemed forensic psychologists and co-authors of "Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People," share their extensive insights on effective communication. They reveal that traditional aggressive interrogation tactics are ineffective, advocating for rapport-building instead. The Alisons explore the significance of empathy, autonomy, and understanding different personality styles using the animal wheel metaphor. Their practical advice highlights how nurturing connections can transform not just interrogations, but all aspects of life, including work and personal relationships.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Rapport-Based Interrogation
The Alisons helped develop rapport-based interrogation methods for a government agency.
These methods proved more effective than enhanced interrogation techniques on real terrorists.
insights INSIGHT
Defining Rapport
Rapport is about connection and communication, not just being liked.
It's crucial for getting people to communicate, regardless of their feelings.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Force vs. Choice
Avoid forceful communication as it can create reactance and resistance.
Offering choices, even small ones, can increase cooperation.
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Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People by Laurence and Emily Alison explores the art of communication and rapport-building. The book outlines four cornerstones of rapport: honesty, empathy, autonomy, and reflection, and introduces four fundamental styles of communication using animal metaphors (lion, mouse, T-Rex, and monkey). It offers practical advice on handling difficult interactions and building meaningful connections.
What do you imagine when you imagine a terrorist being interrogated by an intelligence officer? The former getting roughed up? The latter yelling, banging his fists on the table, and demanding that the detainee talk?
My guests today argue that using force in this way to get what you want isn't effective when you're dealing with a terrorist, or, for that matter, a teenager. Their names are Laurence and Emily Alison, and they're a married pair of forensic psychologists, as well as the authors of Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People. We begin our conversation with how through their extensive experience in training police, military, and security agencies like the FBI and CIA on how to conduct interrogations of criminals and terrorists, the Alisons discovered that literal and metaphorical browbeating was ineffective in inducing communication and cooperation, and that methods which built rapport were much more successful. We then discuss why building rapport in order to handle conflict, avoid arguments, and create connections is important not only in interrogation rooms but at work and at home. From there we dive into the four elements that make up this model of interpersonal communication, the last of which we demonstrate with some role play. We end our conversation with the idea of the "animal wheel," in which different personality styles are represented by a mouse, lion, T-Rex, and monkey, and the importance of understanding your own interpersonal style and that of the person you're engaging with, so you can predict how they'll react, and adapt accordingly.
The Art of Manliness 
