Practice Kindness For Yourself First, Then For Others

Ready to step beyond gratitude this Thanksgiving? Learn how to practice kindness with yourself first before being kind to others. When your internal dialog is kind, that’s when your world will open up and flow with goodness.

Move Over Gratitude!

Everyone knows the Thanksgiving holiday is about gratitude. Gratitude is a practice that will always uplift your spirit and raise your vibration. So often, we ignore what is good and working well in life because we focus on what we want or what’s not working. That’s just part of being human.

But today, I want to talk about another practice that will also lift your spirits. Kindness. That’s right kindness. What do I mean? The act of being kind to yourself or another person.

Hear more about gratitude.

First, I would ask, how often are you kind to yourself? My bet is not all that often. You might buy yourself something, eat something yummy like chocolate, or have a glass of wine. But it’s time to think bigger with your acts of kindness and self-love.

The biggest act of kindness you can offer yourself is noticing and shifting your own internal chatter. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Observe the unusually harsh and nasty things you say to yourself that you would never say to anyone else or dare to utter aloud.

Why do you do that to yourself? Why do I?

If you want to spread love, peace, and experience more joy, start by being kind to yourself.

We Are Harder on Ourselves

We are harder on ourselves than anyone else on the face of the planet. Why is that the natural order? Let’s look at an example of how this normally goes.

Let’s say you forgot to cook a package of chicken and now it’s expired. The internal conversation might sound like this:

“Now you’ve wasted $10, not to mention the food. What an idiot? How could you be so wasteful and foolish? You never do anything right. What a loser.”

That’s how the train of thought might go. You start with a small mistake and rocket into speaking to yourself like you are worthless piece of trash in 30 seconds or less.

Beating Yourself Up

What is the truth of these horrible thoughts? Are these comments about yourself accurate? Of course not!

Yes, you forgot to cook the chicken. (This is a real-life example from someone close to me LOL). Does that make you or me a loser? No way!

It sure does make us human. Humans make mistakes. Too bad we then are meaner to ourselves than to almost anyone else. Here’s an insight – when you encounter a hyper-critical person, that’s a sign they are mega critical of themselves.

How does this improve your life or help you? It doesn’t.

Kindness Enhances Your Health & Mindset

That’s why I’m recommending the practice of kindness with the focus on YOU.

According to the world renown Mayo Clinic, kindness is “a quality of being you can cultivate…” that is “simple, free and health enhancing.”

Being kind to yourself or others actually raises your self-esteem. It also builds empathy and compassion and is a known mood elevator.

Being kind can reduce your blood pressure and cortisol, the stress hormone. People who are kind tend to live longer because they move through life with a greater sense of connectivity and balance.

Now, this part I find totally amazing.

When you are kind to yourself or others, this boosts serotonin and dopamine levels which are neurotransmitters that produce feelings of satisfaction and well-being. I need more of feeling satisfied, what about you?

This leads to lighting up the pleasure and reward centers of your brain. Yes! That makes kindness practices very worthwhile and 100% productive in my mind.

It’s Harder to Be Nice to Yourself

I am first focusing on being kind to yourself because for whatever reason, that is often harder. You might be prone to giving and extending yourself to others regularly. But how do you treat yourself?

Do you put off getting a massage or other self-care activities because you are too busy taking care of your family or other important people in your life? Do you leave yourself with crumbs or even less than that? This is something women in particular are famous for.

So, in this week of Thanksgiving where everyone tells you to focus on gratitude, I’m suggesting that kindness is even better.

It’s a step higher with greater rewards. Just for today, if that’s all you can manage, be aware of your inner dialog. When you catch that internal berating and cruel conversation – STOP.

Notice what you are doing and shift into kindness. So what if you didn’t cook the chicken, pay the bill on time, or said something in anger?

You likely did the best you could in the moment and you can work on improving anything. This is especially true about being kind to yourself when you make a mistake.

Imagine a World with More Kindness

Imagine what the world would be like if we could simply be kind to ourselves? The world would be a happier place in which people would experience lower blood pressure and stress levels. That could actually lead to a greater degree of peace in the world.

Maybe there would even be less aggressive behavior and anger towards others as people feel better about themselves and their own lives. (Think road rage and picture that melting away.)

We might take better care of the planet and reverse some of the damage to Mother Earth. There might be more tree-planting and less harmful strip-mining. We might treat the water supply with the true reverence it deserves.

When you are kind to yourself and make this a natural part of your life and way of being, it will be easier to offer kindness to others. Your internal kindness will actually ripple out into the world and impact everyone you come in contact with.

Kindness Meditation

If you are not driving or operating equipment, close your eyes. Start with a few deep slow breaths. Fill your lungs and abdomen and then exhale slowly and a bit more than you inhaled. This helps you achieve that relaxed state more quickly.

Now, in this moment, say one kind thing to yourself internally. Breathe in love and kindness through the front of your heart chakra and breathe out anything that weighs you down out the back of your heart to be transformed into kindness.

As you continue breathing in this way, a wave of kindness ripples out beyond your own aura. With each new breath, the wave starts to expand more rapidly.

Waves of Kindness

Your waves of kindness, seek out and connect with other people’s waves of kindness building momentum. Kindness becomes a strong force that spreads out past your own home and town, to the state you live in and the section of the country. It expands to fill the entire country and then your hemisphere of the planet.

Then, this wave of kindness wraps around the entire planet like a comforting blanket. Mother Earth breathes a deep sigh of relief. Angels are drawn in, adding to this kindness wave, giving it even more strength and etheric prowess.

People around the world feel suddenly more relaxed without even knowing why. The tension seems to subside and everyone breathes more easily.

All empaths stop feeling that awful sense of foreboding. In fact, they notice that negative emotion is somehow magically replaced with the strongest sense of joy and happiness they’ve felt in a very long time.

Just stay here a moment and feel how amazing that ripple really is. A tremendous wave of kindness that is an empowering force for good.

Now, bring yourself back to your country, state and city. Back to the place where you are meditating. Back into your body fully. Take a deep breath. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Then open your eyes, coming fully back into your body. Fully awake now.

How was that?

Kindness Is So Powerful

Your kindness to yourself and others is so much more powerful than you can begin to imagine. And it all starts with you right here, right now in this very moment.

I hope you will take this in and start a practice of kindness. First be kind to yourself, and then find tiny, small ways to share kindness with others. Often the little things matter much more than the big ones.

10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself

1. Tell yourself that today you feel lucky
2. Forgive yourself for a small mistake or a big one
3. When you catch yourself being internally mean, remind yourself that you can also be kind
4. Acknowledge yourself for a quality you like about yourself
5. Acknowledge yourself for doing a good job on something
6. Look in the mirror and blow yourself a kiss
7. Cross your arms in front of you, put each hand on the opposite shoulder and send your body some love
8. Thank your body for the hard work it does to keep you vibrant and alive
9. Remind yourself that you are magical
10. Say this affirmation – I am worthy of the same kindness I offer others

10 Ways to Show Kindness to Others

1. Say hello to the staff person checking you out at the store
2. Smile at someone with 2 seconds of eye contact before turning away
3. Tell a woman she looks pretty today or that you like something she’s wearing
4. Compliment a man about his watch or tie
5. Thank people you interact with who are serving you in some way
6. Let someone into your lane when traffic is busy
7. Buy a coffee for the person behind you in line
8. Check in on a neighbor, single person, or elderly person you know
9. Add someone new to your holiday card list
10. Send silent blessings to people you pass on the street

That’s it for today. I sure hope you have a great Thanksgiving holiday here in the U.S. Wishing you love and magic. May you be blessed with good fortune that keeps on giving.

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