Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting

1704: [Part 2] When Your Partner Isn't Sure They Want a Future With You by Tonya Lester

Apr 2, 2023

Tonya Lester, a psychotherapist in Brooklyn, NY, discusses how to navigate uncertainty in a relationship and offers advice on dealing with a partner who struggles with commitment. Topics include setting boundaries, being realistic about needs, open communication, and reasons behind commitment issues.

10:10

Episode guests

Tonya Lester

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Quick takeaways

Assess whether your partner aligns with your desires and if their current state is enough for you, rather than falling in love with their potential.

Setting and honoring your own boundaries is crucial for maintaining healthy self-esteem and not accepting ambivalence in a relationship.

Deep dives

Don't Bet Your Future on Potential

It's important to be realistic and not rely on the potential of your partner. After the initial phase of a relationship, their desire to share their life and commitment level probably won't increase significantly. Elizabeth Gilbert's book 'Eat, Pray, Love' highlights the danger of falling in love with someone's potential rather than who they actually are. Assess whether the person in front of you aligns with your desires and if their current state is enough for you.

Navigating Uncertainty in a Relationship

5min

Navigating a Relationship with Commitment Issues

6min

Tonya Lester talks about what to do when your partner isn't sure they want a future with you. This is part 2 of 2.

Episode 1704: [Part 2] When Your Partner Isn't Sure They Want a Future With You by Tonya Lester

Tonya Lester, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in Brooklyn, NY. She graduated from New York University with a Master's degree in Social Work. Her post-graduate training includes a fellowship at Psychoanalytic Theory at the Institute for Psychoanalytic Theory and Research (IPTAR) and supervised practice in Psychodynamic Therapy under Drs. C.E. Robins and John Broughton. She completed training in IFS with Dick Schwartz, Nancy Sowell, and Pam Krause. Her training in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) was with John Forsyth, Ph.D. She studied RLT with its creator, Terry Real.

The original post is located here: https://www.tonyalester.com/blog//when-your-partner-isnt-sure-they-want-a-future-with-you

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