What Nobody Tells You About Grief and Loss

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Dec 18, 2025

David Kessler, a renowned grief and loss expert, shares profound insights on navigating the complexities of grief. He discusses the confusion surrounding grief and the importance of acceptance in healing. David reflects on his personal losses, encouraging listeners to seek help and understand different grieving styles. He explains concepts like grief bursts and love bursts, while emphasizing the significance of honoring the deceased with love. With practical advice on supporting others and managing one's own grief, David guides toward finding meaning and moving forward.

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INSIGHT

Grief Expands Capacity For Life

Grief expands your capacity for both pain and joy, making life feel fuller after loss.
David Kessler argues that grieving fully allows you to live more richly, not less.

ANECDOTE

Lived Loss Changed His Practice

David Kessler recounts his son's struggle with addiction and unexpected death at 21 and the depth of the resulting pain.
He describes being immobilized and needing to seek support despite being a grief expert.

ADVICE

Applaud People Who Ask For Help

If someone in grief reaches out, applaud them and help them get support because reaching out is hard.
Encourage connection rather than judging or dismissing their request for help.

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In today’s episode, you’re going to learn what nobody tells you about grief and loss.

Whether you’ve lost someone recently, years ago, or are anticipating a loss, this conversation will give you clarity, relief, and a way forward.

Or if someone you love is grieving and you feel helpless and want to know how to support them, after this conversation you will know exactly what to say and do.

Joining Mel today is David Kessler, one of the world’s most renowned experts on grief and loss and bestselling author of eight books, who has spent more than 40 years helping millions of people through the hardest moments of their lives.

David has lived profound loss himself, and he brings a rare combination of research, compassion, honesty, and hard-earned wisdom.

What he shares today will change the way you understand grief, your own emotions, and what healing actually looks like.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
-The real reason grief feels so confusing (and why you’re not “doing it wrong”)

-The biggest mistakes people make when they’re grieving
-What to say (and what never to say) when someone you love is grieving

- Why waves of sadness hit you out of nowhere

- What grief bursts and love bursts are and what they mean
-Why guilt is so common after loss and how to release it
-How to carry your love forward without being trapped in pain
-The surprising ways laughter and anger help you heal

Today, David offers you a simple framework to live with more peace, grace, and meaning after loss.

If you’ve ever felt alone in your grief, confused by your emotions, or pressured to “move on,” this conversation is for you.

You are not doing it wrong. You are not alone.

And with David’s clear, compassionate guidance, you’ll understand how healing can become possible.

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.

As a gift to listeners of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Mel has created a free 20-page workbook to help you make 2026 a great year. This workbook is designed using the latest research to help you get clear about what you want and empower you to take the next step forward in your life. And the cool part? It takes less than a minute for you to get your hands on it. Just sign up at melrobbins.com/bestyear.

If you liked the episode, check out this one next: Why You Feel Lost in Life: Dr. Gabor Maté on Trauma & How to Heal

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