Michael Bungay Stanier, author of the best-selling "The Coaching Habit" and founder of Box of Crayons, shares insights on becoming a more effective leader through coaching. He emphasizes the importance of caring for others while allowing them the freedom to own their outcomes. Michael advises against asking "why" questions to keep conversations safe and productive. He highlights the power of silence in discussions and the significance of body language when listening. Tune in for transformative techniques to enhance your coaching skills!
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Stay Curious
Stay curious longer in conversations.
Rush to action and advice-giving more slowly.
insights INSIGHT
Taming the Advice Monster
Taming your advice monster helps you stay curious.
Use questions to help others think and feel heard.
question_answer ANECDOTE
A Terrible Client
Michael Bungay Stanier discusses his experience as a "terrible client."
He colluded with coaches, hindering genuine coaching until Ernest Oriente.
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Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
Michael Bungay Stanier
In 'The Coaching Habit,' Michael Bungay Stanier provides a straightforward and effective approach to coaching. Drawing on his extensive experience training managers worldwide, he introduces seven essential coaching questions designed to help managers unlock their team's potential. These questions include the Kickstart Question, the AWE Question, the Lazy Question, the Strategic Question, the Focus Question, the Foundation Question, and the Learning Question. The book emphasizes the importance of saying less and asking more, fostering a collaborative and empowering work environment. It combines practical advice with research in neuroscience and behavioral economics, making coaching a daily, informal part of managerial work rather than a formal event.
Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit
Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of eight books, including The Coaching Habit*, which has sold more than a million copies and is the best-selling book on coaching this century. He is the founder Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that’s trained thousands of people around the world to be more coach-like. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times.
One of the most common desires leaders espouse is wanting to get better at helping others grow. One great way to do that is to become more coach-like. In this conversation, Michael and I explore how we can do better at building this skill.
Key Points
Care deeply for others while also being disconnected from their outcomes. Give people responsibility for their own freedom.
Consider asking, “How much risk are you willing to take?” Allow the other party to define the boundaries.
Bring a difficult observation as a third point. Separate the message from the person and let them decide what’s true.
Avoid asking “why” questions of others to avoid putting people on the defensive and trying to solve their problems.
A helpful checkpoint: is this question something that’s helping me or helping the other party?
Silence is a measure of success. When you ask a question that lands, people need time to answer.
Your body leads your brain. Notice your physical presence and how it manifests when you’re listening well.
Resources Mentioned
The Coaching Habit* by Michael Bungay Stanier
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Interview Notes
Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).
Related Episodes
These Coaching Questions Get Results, with Michael Bungay Stanier (episode 237)
Leadership in the Midst of Chaos, with Jim Mattis (episode 440)
How to Lead Better Through Complexity, with Jennifer Garvey Berger (episode 613)
How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard, with Scott Shigeoka (episode 654)
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