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The Psychology of your 20s

156. Dating with an anxious attachment style ft. Thais Gibson

Dec 29, 2023
Thais Gibson, an author and founder of The Personal Development School, joins to discuss the complexities of dating with an anxious attachment style. They explore the emotional challenges faced by those who are anxiously attached, including feelings of insecurity and fear of abandonment. Thais emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, self-soothing techniques, and recognizing personal needs. Listeners will gain insights into fostering self-love and healthier relationships while understanding the dynamics between different attachment styles.
49:08

Episode guests

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Anxiously attached individuals struggle with feeling secure, mistrust, and fear of abandonment.
  • Anxious attachment styles often prioritize others' needs over their own and struggle with setting boundaries.

Deep dives

Understanding Attachment Theory

Attachment theory is the work of John Bowlby, which explains how our childhood experiences of love and connection shape our adult relationships. Every person has an attachment style that influences their expectations and behaviors in relationships. The most common attachment style is secure, where individuals feel safe, worthy of love, and can form healthy relationships. Anxiously attached individuals, the second most common style, experienced inconsistent love in childhood and fear abandonment in relationships. They often engage in people-pleasing behaviors and struggle to prioritize their own needs. Anxiously attached individuals are frequently attracted to avoidant attachment styles, which perpetuates their patterns of self-abandonment and difficulty in expressing their needs. To move past anxiously attached tendencies, individuals can focus on advocating for their needs, practicing self-soothing techniques, maintaining a balanced life outside of relationships, and questioning their ingrained stories and beliefs.

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