[Ep. 161] Holding Grief with Gratitude w/ Carolyn Carter
Aug 27, 2023
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Carolyn Carter, a human development professional, poet, and somatic relational coach, shares her journey of grief and gratitude after her daughter's passing. They discuss the connection between love and grief, the transformative power of grief, and the importance of having a relationship with it. The host also shares resources for connecting with the guest and offers a poem on surrendering to a broken heart.
By sitting with grief and allowing ourselves to feel through the process, we can transform and alchemize it, while gratitude reminds us of the love and connection we had with the person or thing we lost.
Grief is a divine invitation to embrace the full spectrum of human experience, teaching us about reciprocity and interconnectedness and reminding us to embrace the transformative power of grief.
Deep dives
The Power of Grief and Gratitude
Grief and pain can either open us up to our true selves or break us down if resisted. By sitting with grief as a friend and allowing ourselves to feel through the process, we can transform and alchemize it. Gratitude plays a crucial role in navigating grief, as it reminds us of the love and connection we had with the person or thing we lost. Gratitude and grief can coexist, and holding both simultaneously allows for a holistic and sustainable experience. Everything in the universe is interconnected, and when we recognize that reciprocity and relational nature, we can find deeper meaning and purpose in our grief.
The Great Invitation of Grief
Grief is a divine invitation to come home to ourselves and embrace the full spectrum of human experience. Rather than resisting pain and suffering, we can choose to be in relationship with our grief, understanding that it holds deep truths and insights. Grief teaches us about reciprocity and interconnectedness, reminding us that every person, thing, and emotion we encounter leaves an impact. In these challenging times of death, violence, and disease, the invitation is to embrace the transformative power of grief and allow it to bring us back to our true selves and our connection with others.
Relating to Loved Ones Beyond Death
After the passing of a loved one, it is possible to continue the relationship with them in a different dimension. By going inside and deepening our spiritual connection, we can be in union with our loved ones who have crossed over. Gratitude plays a significant role in this process, as it reminds us of the privilege of having had that relationship and the love shared. The grief and gratitude can coexist, creating a deep and ongoing connection with our loved ones beyond death.
The Holistic Experience of Pain and Love
Pain and love are interwoven, and the deeper the love, the more intense the grief. By embracing the totality of our experiences, we can hold both the sorrow and gratitude simultaneously. The complete experience includes anger, rage, and messiness alongside tender moments and joy. This holistic approach allows for a more authentic and sustainable relationship with grief, where everything is acknowledged and embraced as belonging to the human experience.
We welcome back friend of the show, Carolyn Waiters Carter, a human development professional, poet, and somatic relational coach. Carolyn generously shares with us a story of grief, grace, grit and gratitude. She feels called to to share her grief journey after her beautiful beloved only daughter China transitioned in November 2021 from a long heroic journey with kidney disease, autoimmune disease, and a rare cancer at the age 41.
She shares the alchemic sacred wisdom and divine mercy that is held in darkness of grief and pain of suffering. She shares the dance of grief and gratitude, as a witness and companion with her daughter as she transitioned from this life to the next.
We first explore the terrain of relational reciprocity between cycles of life and death and the ways in which Carolyn and her daughter supported and held each other through their collective grief and shared victories.
She and Luis discuss the connection between love and grief, how she is in fact still in relationship with her daughter but in a different way, and the sense of deep gratitude and sacred privilege of being with, and holding her daughter China from her first and last breath in the body.