At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 108 - 10 Tips to Improve Connection and Communication with your PDA Child or Teen
Apr 15, 2025
Explore the nuances of connecting with PDA children and teens, focusing on how to enhance communication through nervous-system cues. Learn why traditional verbal exchanges often fail and the importance of non-verbal signals like facial expressions and body language. Discover techniques such as lowering your physical stance to reduce perceived authority and using declarative language to foster engagement. Embrace patience and allow for processing time, while also recognizing and respecting your child's autonomy in communication. These insights aim to strengthen the parent-child bond.
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Nervous System, Not Rudeness
- Pathological Demand Avoidance is primarily a nervous-system difference that signals threat around loss of autonomy.
- Mammal-to-mammal signals (tone, facial movement, body language) reach the subconscious threat system faster than words.
Signal Safety With Face And Movement
- Soften your tone and exaggerate friendly facial movements to signal safety to your child's nervous system.
- Move slowly and avoid sudden gestures to prevent startle responses.
Dinner Table Startle Example
- Casey describes a startle reaction when a car drove up while her son sat at dinner to illustrate hypersensitivity.
- She uses slow, deliberate movement and facial expressiveness to calm his nervous system.