Alex Carter, a United Nations negotiation trainer and law professor, shares her expert insights on the art of negotiation. She emphasizes a collaborative approach, transforming negotiations from competition to constructive dialogue. Through personal anecdotes, like her honeymoon kayaking adventure, she challenges misconceptions and encourages curiosity as a critical tool. Carter also offers five essential tips, including mastering self-advocacy and preparation, to help listeners confidently ask for what they want in both personal and professional settings.
Negotiation centers on building relationships rather than competition, allowing individuals to identify opportunities for collaboration in various situations.
Curiosity and open-ended questions foster trust and lead to better outcomes, emphasizing the importance of understanding others' needs during negotiations.
Deep dives
Negotiation as Steering
Negotiation can be redefined as steering a relationship rather than a contentious battle over money. This perspective allows individuals to recognize that negotiation occurs in everyday interactions, not just formal settings. By focusing on steering, one can identify opportunities to negotiate in various aspects of life, such as understanding colleagues' priorities or engaging clients more meaningfully. Embracing this concept can enhance one's effectiveness in money-related negotiations by establishing rapport and context beforehand.
The Power of Curiosity
Curiosity plays a crucial role in successful negotiations, as it often leads to better outcomes compared to arguing. Research indicates that negotiators who prioritize open-ended questions are more likely to achieve optimal results than those who focus solely on presenting their own points. For instance, asking questions like 'Tell me about your needs' can create a collaborative environment, helping to build trust and understanding between parties. This approach encourages deeper conversations that ultimately benefit all involved.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
Effective negotiation begins with self-reflection, which involves negotiating internally before engaging with others. This 'mirror' phase is essential for clarifying priorities and approaching negotiations with confidence. By recalling past successful experiences and strategies, individuals can harness their strengths and enhance their chances for success in new negotiations. Mastering this preparatory step ensures that one enters discussions with a clear sense of purpose and capability.
How do you get what you want out of a negotiation? United Nations negotiation trainer Alex Carter says the best methods center on recruitment, not rivalry. Whether you're asking for a raise or resolving a family dispute, she offers five simple tips for a successful discussion — starting with one powerful question.