David DeSteno, a psychology professor at Northeastern University and author of Emotional Success, dives into the transformative power of gratitude. He explains how reflecting on kindness can improve decision-making and foster healthier habits. The discussion reveals how gratitude enhances self-control, allowing for better long-term choices. DeSteno also shares practical strategies like gratitude diaries that can boost emotional well-being and deepen our connections with others—ultimately making us better friends to our future selves.
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insights INSIGHT
Evolution of Self-Control
Self-control evolved for cooperation, not for things like 401k saving.
Moral emotions like gratitude and compassion make us selfless, improving cooperation.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Willpower Experiment
David DeSteno's experiment offered participants $10 now or $30 in three weeks, honoring their choice.
Most people, prioritizing immediate gratification, would take around $17 now over $100 in a year.
insights INSIGHT
Gratitude's Impact on Patience
Gratitude increased participants' willingness to wait for larger rewards later.
Those feeling grateful valued $100 in a year at $30 now versus $17 when not feeling grateful.
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In 'Emotional Success,' David DeSteno challenges the traditional view that willpower and self-denial are the keys to success. Instead, he argues that emotions such as gratitude, compassion, and pride are the most powerful tools for achieving our goals. Through his research and compelling storytelling, DeSteno shows how these emotions can enhance our performance, perseverance, and well-being. He provides evidence from various studies that these emotions foster resilience, social bonds, and intrinsic motivation, leading to greater ease and deeper satisfaction in achieving success[1][2][5].
Success and Luck
Good Fortune and the Myth of Meritocracy
Robert H. Frank
Robert Frank's "Success and Luck" delves into the often-overlooked role of chance and circumstance in achieving success. Frank argues that while hard work and talent are essential, luck plays a significant, often underestimated, part in determining outcomes. He challenges the common narrative that success is solely a product of merit, highlighting the influence of random events and fortunate circumstances. The book explores the psychological implications of attributing success solely to individual effort, neglecting the role of luck. Frank's work encourages a more nuanced understanding of success and its determinants.
Grit and determination to change your habits can only get you so far... if you want to be happier you have to stop and think about how nice people have been to you and how nice you can be to them in return. This circle of gratitude - the science suggests - will also make you a better friend to one of the most important people in your life... your future self.
Dr Laurie Santos investigates this effect with Northeastern University's Prof David DeSteno - author of Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion and Pride.
For an even deeper dive into the research we talk about in the show visit happinesslab.fm
The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos 
