Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

The (real) Secret to Happiness: Attachment, Craving, and Enjoying Life

Feb 5, 2024

01:10:42

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Discover the secret to everyday happiness by learning how to like without wanting. Explore the lies our brain tells us, the movement from liking to wanting, and how to enjoy an experience without craving more. Find out how to meet key needs, see the whole of our experience without getting trapped, and overcome the brain's prediction errors. Explore the importance of meeting legitimate needs, honoring deep longings, and unhooking oneself from craving.

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Quick takeaways

Deliberately savoring experiences dissolves craving and increases enjoyment in life.

Going wide and noticing tension in the body helps reduce the intensity of craving.

Practicing mindful awareness of all aspects of an experience cultivates deeper enjoyment and unhooks from craving.

Deep dives

Increasing Enjoyment in Life

To increase enjoyment in life, it is important to deliberately have experiences and truly savor them. This can be done by turning up the volume on the experience, intensifying the sensory aspects, and continuously letting the experience change. By doing this, we counteract the brain's tendency to cling to what it likes and instead dissolve the craving. It is also crucial to pay attention to our routines, schedules, and what we feel entitled to. Making room for more enjoyment and being mindful of crowding out activities can contribute to a more fulfilling life.

Finding Beauty in Subtle Enjoyments of Life

01:51

Liking vs. Wanting: Be Mindful of Your Inner Dashboard

01:20

The Gap Between Idealization and Reality

01:24

Squeeze the Juice Out of the Orange

01:34

Introduction

2min

The Importance of Attachment, Craving, and Enjoyment for a Fulfilling Life

23min

Exploring the Balance of Caring and Not Caring

3min

Working with the Shift from Liking to Wanting

2min

Meeting Needs to Reduce Craving

10min

Honoring Deep Longings for Fulfillment

27min

Navigating Idealized Experiences and Overcoming Craving

4min

Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on the secret to everyday happiness: learning how to like without wanting. They talk about the lies our brain tells us, the rapid movement from liking to wanting, and how we can enjoy an experience without craving more of it. They then explore a specific example of getting captured by the brain’s “inner ad agency,” and what we can do to stay in the present, meet key needs, and see the whole of our experience without getting trapped by any one part. You won’t want to miss this one!

Forrest is now writing on Substack, check out his work there.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

2:00: Liking, wanting, and healthy desire

11:30: The story craving tells us

15:00: Inhibition and “prudishness” around liking

21:15: “21st century problems”

25:35: A personal example of getting trapped by desire

29:05: Meeting your legitimate needs, somatic cues, and inner freedom

35:20: The search for the slightly better experience

42:25: The brain’s prediction errors, and longing for what is already here

47:50: The ability to zoom out and see the full spectrum of our experience

59:25: Recap

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Connect with the show:

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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