I Wish You Knew

Jessica Baum & Adam Lane Smith: Why Emotional Safety Is the Key to Real Love

6 snips
May 29, 2025
Guest
Jessica Baum
Jessica Baum, a leading attachment expert and author of 'Anxiously Attached,' joins Adam Lane Smith to explore the pivotal role of emotional safety in relationships. They discuss how attachment styles affect adult connections, the impact of childhood experiences, and the need for vulnerability. Baum emphasizes that emotional safety isn't just about feeling secure but about being present with pain and fear. The duo also highlights the dangers of unrealistic expectations and self-abandonment in love, advocating for authentic communication and mutual understanding to foster deeper intimacy.
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INSIGHT

Childhood Forms Safety Basis

  • Early childhood experiences shape our nervous system's sense of safety deeply.
  • Safety perception forms through parents' ability to regulate and co-regulate emotionally with the child.
INSIGHT

Intimacy Feared by Avoidant Types

  • For avoidant individuals, closeness once felt as unsafe can trigger fear.
  • Emotional intimacy can paradoxically become a source of threat instead of safety for them.
INSIGHT

Attachment Patterns Are Multi-Dimensional

  • People embody multiple attachment patterns, not just one.
  • Attachment responses vary by relationship and situation, shown in the "wheel of attachment."
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