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The speaker shares a profound realization about the motives behind choosing a career in design. Initially thinking it was for financial stability and self-sufficiency, she later understands that the true driving force was the intense desire to live in Manhattan. Despite challenging living conditions, the priority was being in the city, which influenced her decision to pursue design for a reliable income.
The discussion highlights the significant impact of New York City on the speaker's aspirations and career choices. The desire to live in Manhattan drove crucial career decisions, overshadowing artistic pursuits or writing ambitions. The environment of the city played a pivotal role, shaping her focus on financial stability in the design field.
The speaker reflects on how her personal history, including a challenging childhood and complex family dynamics, influenced her need for stability and security. Growing up in difficult circumstances led to a strong emphasis on financial security, inspiring career decisions focused on ensuring self-sufficiency and a secure future.
The speaker's experiences of adversity and family challenges underscore the importance of stability in her career choices. The need for financial security and self-sufficiency emerges as a key driver in decision-making processes, reflecting a deep-rooted desire to overcome past struggles and create a stable foundation for the future.
Growing up in a turbulent environment, the speaker details intense family dynamics, including a nine-year estrangement from the biological father, a mother's remarriage to an abusive man, and her own experiences with abuse and provocative behavior.
In response to the trauma endured during childhood, the speaker found solace in art and engaged in excessive extracurricular activities to distance herself from feelings of unworthiness stemming from the abuse.
Reflecting on the past, the speaker navigates a journey marked by trauma, shame, and eventual empowerment. By integrating her experiences, she finds purpose in helping others through organizations dedicated to ending domestic violence and abuse.
Sharing pivotal career moments, the speaker recounts transitions from a successful CEO offer to embracing a path toward personal projects and pro bono work, highlighting the importance of courage over confidence in decision-making processes.
This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #366 "Neil Gaiman — The Interview I've Waited 20 Years to Do" and episode #214 "How to Design a Life — Debbie Millman."
Please enjoy!
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Timestamps:
[00:00] Start
[05:11] Notes about this supercombo format.
[06:14] Enter Neil Gaiman.
[06:44] What Ian Fleming taught Neil about writing — even when he doesn't want to.
[09:56] Neil's biggest rule for writing.
[12:41] Neil's process for writing first drafts.
[14:30] What Neil aims to accomplish with his second drafts.
[14:40] Something Neil noticed when he first started writing and editing with the use of computers.
[17:27] Notebooks Neil prefers for writing first drafts.
[21:56] Fountain pens Neil has known and loved.
[22:57] How Neil's default writing time has changed over the years.
[24:56] The value of the Groundhog Day routine.
[26:24] Today's methods may not be tomorrow's.
[27:53] Lessons learned from Terry Pratchett.
[29:22] Parting thoughts and gratitude.
[31:21] Enter Debbie Millman.
[31:45] How Debbie describes her diverse background to new acquaintances.
[33:38] A childhood drawing predicting Debbie's future.
[37:54] Debbie's unintentional path to becoming a designer.
[45:41] Overcoming initial rejection.
[50:04] Debbie's advice to her college self after that first major rejection.
[54:25] Empathy vs. feeling slighted by those who reject us.
[59:28] Manhattan's influence on Debbie's pursuit of happiness and career.
[1:06:42] Debbie's abuse history and its impact on her self-sufficiency and charitable work.
[1:12:41] Coping with abuse aftermath and feelings of isolation.
[1:18:40] Debbie's experience being called a "corporate clown" and "she-devil."
[1:37:00] From lowest point to godmother: a transformative journey.
[1:37:38] The world-changing potential of brochures.
[1:43:14] The Design Matters podcast: origins and evolution over 12 years.
[1:46:46] Milton Glaser's impact on design and Debbie's life.
[1:52:16] The "10-Year Plan for a Remarkable Life" exercise.
[1:57:51] The nature of hard decisions.
[2:07:07] Recommended Design Matters episodes for design novices.
[2:07:55] Parting thoughts.
*
For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.
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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.
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Listen to the best highlights from the podcasts you love and dive into the full episode