Since You Asked with Lori Gottlieb and Gretchen Rubin Dear Therapists: Jennifer's Fiance's Instagram Flirtations
Dec 9, 2025
This session dives into Jennifer's emotional turmoil after discovering her fiancé, Dan, flirting with an ex on Instagram. The hosts explore their relationship's rocky foundation, including an unintended pregnancy and past trust issues. They discuss the impact of Dan's previous affair and his defensive responses to Jennifer's hurt. With valuable homework, they guide her to reclaim her narrative and encourage open communication. Jennifer's follow-up reveals breakthroughs in therapy, highlighting the importance of agency and self-reflection in healing.
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Trust Versus Practical Obligations
- Jennifer discovered her fiancé messaging women on Instagram twice, including his former affair partner, which shattered her trust.
- She feels torn between her soul's limits and practical obligations to the blended family and finances.
Social Media Flirtation Is Real Harm
- Guy and Lori note many people minimize social-media flirtation as "not real" cheating, which masks emotional harm.
- They warn minimization keeps problems unresolved and risks repetition.
Past Affair Reappears On Instagram
- Dan previously had a workplace affair that contributed to a bitter divorce and his ex quitting her job amid threats.
- Jennifer later discovered he unblocked and messaged that same woman, reigniting past issues.
