TED Health The science (and art) of creating lasting sexual connections | Emily Nagoski on TED Talks Daily Summer Book Club
12 snips
Feb 25, 2025 
Emily Nagoski, a renowned sex educator and author of 'Come Together,' dives deep into creating lasting sexual connections while debunking common myths. She shares insights on the importance of effective communication and self-awareness in enhancing intimacy. Discover how pleasure, rather than just desire, can transform relationships. Nagoski also emphasizes redefining intimacy in long-term relationships, highlighting the significance of playfulness and openness. Expect a humorous yet enlightening approach to navigating the complex landscape of sexual connections.
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Spark vs. Pleasure
- The mainstream narrative about sex in long-term relationships often contradicts scientific findings.
- Sustaining sexual connection is about chasing pleasure, not chasing "spark."
Desires in Sex
- The primary desire in sex isn't orgasm, but connection, shared pleasure, feeling wanted, and freedom.
- These factors are better starting points for conversations about sex than frequency.
Dual Control Model
- Understand the dual control model of sexual response: accelerator (turn-on) and brakes (turn-off).
- Identify your personal accelerators and brakes to improve your sex life.
