The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 144: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting

28 snips

Aug 1, 2023

Navigating the complexities of parenting a child with a sensitive nervous system can be daunting. The discussion sheds light on the fine line between enabling and co-regulation, revealing how misinterpretations can hinder growth. Parents learn to distinguish between genuine needs and their own comfort when lowering demands. With a focus on attunement, the hosts highlight the critical role of reflective practices in enhancing the caregiver-child relationship, especially for those with trauma histories.

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INSIGHT

Enabling: Two Definitions

Outside of mental health, "enabling" means giving someone the authority to do something.
In mental health, it implies contributing to maladaptive behavior.

INSIGHT

Stress and Demands

Demands and expectations trigger stress responses, which are crucial for growth.
Everyone has different thresholds for when demands become "too hard" versus appropriately challenging.

ADVICE

Strengthening Stress Response

To strengthen a sensitized stress response system, first lower stress levels to allow for recovery.
Then introduce moderate, predictable, and tolerable stress.

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Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.

In this episode you'll learn:

The importance of being self-attuned to whats hard vs. too hard
How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Connection or Protection??? {7}
What to do after We Mess up {80}
Stress Response System {94}

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!

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