The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 144: Enabling vs Low-Demand Parenting

28 snips

Aug 1, 2023

Navigating the complexities of parenting a child with a sensitive nervous system can be daunting. The discussion sheds light on the fine line between enabling and co-regulation, revealing how misinterpretations can hinder growth. Parents learn to distinguish between genuine needs and their own comfort when lowering demands. With a focus on attunement, the hosts highlight the critical role of reflective practices in enhancing the caregiver-child relationship, especially for those with trauma histories.

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INSIGHT

Enabling: Two Definitions

Outside of mental health, "enabling" means giving someone the authority to do something.
In mental health, it implies contributing to maladaptive behavior.

INSIGHT

Stress and Demands

Demands and expectations trigger stress responses, which are crucial for growth.
Everyone has different thresholds for when demands become "too hard" versus appropriately challenging.

ADVICE

Strengthening Stress Response

To strengthen a sensitized stress response system, first lower stress levels to allow for recovery.
Then introduce moderate, predictable, and tolerable stress.

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Parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system can feel like navigating a maze blindfolded. But what if we told you that understanding the balance between enabling and co-regulation could be your guiding light? This week, we break down this crucial contrast, demystifying the term 'enabling', often misconstrued in the mental health field, and venture into the science behind lowering demands - a strategy that can bolster your child’s stress response system.

In this episode you'll learn:

The importance of being self-attuned to whats hard vs. too hard
How to determine between lowering demands for your own comfort and doing it because it is genuinely too arduous for your child
The difference between enabling/codependent behaviors and co-regulation

Resources mentioned in this podcast:
Connection or Protection??? {7}
What to do after We Mess up {80}
Stress Response System {94}

Read a the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/Enabling

Professionals who work with parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors!

Join us for Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents and Caregivers thru the Lens of Relational Neuroscience.

See the website for all details and to register!

RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

The All-About-Me workbook will help your child grow their owl brain and develop ways to calm their watchdog and possum brain. 24 page, full-color, instant download at RobynGobbel.com/store

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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

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Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
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LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)