This Tantric Life with Layla Martin The Most Important Love Language No One Talks About: Repair
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Sep 21, 2025 Baya Voce, a relationship repair expert with an MSW from Columbia University and mentee of Esther Perel, dives into the art of relationship repair. She uncovers surprising truths about the happiest couples and the ongoing practice of repair. Baya discusses how modern virtual interactions can impoverish our relational skills and defines critical boundaries in partnerships. She also teaches four essential skills for effective conflict resolution, emphasizing that repair can be learned, enabling couples to rebuild trust and deepen connection.
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Repair Is Nervous-System Work
- Repair means both nervous systems trust that ruptures will reliably return to safety.
- True repair is attunement and presence, not just following a script.
Virtual Ease Erodes Relational Skill
- The virtual world reduces friction and atrophies relational skills we need.
- Less everyday friction leads to more dissonance in close human connections.
Wedding Fight That Rewrote Vows
- Two weeks before her wedding Baya and Emmy had their worst fight and spent two nights apart.
- That crisis led Baya to change her vows and commit to doing her inner work instead of needing Emmy to change.
