The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

114. The Resistant Client Series: Replace It! (w/ Corrective Emotional & Co-regulating Experiences)

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May 21, 2025

Discover the transformative power of addressing client resistance as a protective behavior rather than a barrier. Learn how to replace this resistance with corrective emotional experiences that foster deeper connections. The hosts dive into the importance of understanding emotional dysregulation and creating a supportive therapeutic environment. They emphasize the role of vulnerability and clear communication in navigating client emotions, ultimately leading to healing and growth. Trust the attachment map, and embrace resistance as a doorway to deeper engagement.

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ANECDOTE

Client Transformation via EFT Supervision

Ryan worked with a withdrawer client whose shift dramatically improved after switching to EFT supervision.
The client reported feeling truly seen and understood, contrasting with previous ineffective therapy experiences.

INSIGHT

Resistance as Protective Behavior

Resistance acts as a protective, homeostatic behavior holding emotional weight in the relationship.
Removing resistance without replacement risks destabilizing the relationship's protective structures.

ADVICE

Co-regulate Fear and Blame

Prioritize slow, clear exploration of emotional fear within resistance before engaging blame.
Co-regulate blame carefully to help clients communicate vulnerability effectively and facilitate partner's caregiving response.

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Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.

Overview and Themes:

This podcast episode is the finale of the "Resistant Client Series," focusing on how therapists can transform client resistance into opportunities for deeper emotional connection and healing.

Main Themes:
1. Understanding Resistance as Protective Behavior
- Resistance isn't a problem to eliminate, but a weight-bearing mechanism protecting relationship dynamics
- Every resistant stance has an attachment significance
- Clients aren't being difficult; they're managing deep emotional fears

2. Theory of Change in EFT
- Replace resistance with corrective emotional experiences
- Help clients make clear emotional signals
- Enable partners to provide compassionate comfort
- Support clients in truly receiving and embodying that comfort

3. Clinical Wisdom
- Don't lose hope with challenging clients
- Trust the attachment map
- Be intentional about vulnerability in therapeutic interventions
- Focus on helping clients understand their own emotional experiences

Closing Summary:

In the intricate dance of human connection, resistance is not an obstacle, but a doorway. Each defensive stance whispers a profound story of fear, longing, and the desperate hope to be truly seen and loved. As therapists, our sacred work is not to dismantle these protective walls, but to gently illuminate the tender heart beating behind them.

We are architects of hope, helping couples rediscover the language of vulnerability, transforming cycles of pain into rhythms of connection. Every moment of resistance carries within it the seed of healing - waiting to be understood, honored, and transformed.

Keep pushing the leading edge. Keep believing in love's remarkable capacity to heal.

Upcoming events, if you would like to train with James or Ryan…

You can do a joint Core Skills (Colorado) with Lisa J. Palmer-Olsen & Dr. James Hawkins. Core Skills Modules 1 and 2 will be held October 8-10, 2025, and Core Skills Modules 3 and 4 will be held January 7-9, 2026. You can register at https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado.
October 15-18, 2025, you can do an Externship with James in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can register at https://www.counseloregon.com.
You can train with Ryan, as well as George Faller, doing a live and some time with James, at the annual Arkansas EFT Center externship. July 29-August 1, 2025, in person, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship
We would like to invite everyone to come hang out and learn with the SV team at the first-ever SV Focus Lab. This is an advanced, EFCT training intending to push the edge with a focus on nuance in application, illuminating EFT and Sue’s incredible model.”
You can learn more and register by going to https://www.svfocuslab.com. Leading edge listeners who register before July 1 with the code svfocuslab.com/leadingedge get a 10% discount.

To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause.

We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.

Stay connected with us:

Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge
Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website
James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com
George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com

If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV).

Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!