Paula Freedman-Diamond, a licensed clinical psychologist and author of "Toxic Striving," sheds light on how hustle culture and wellness ideals can warp our self-worth. She discusses the anxiety linked to perfectionism and the societal pressures that fuel toxic striving. Paula encourages embracing intuitive eating and flexible living to prioritize personal values over external expectations. She also emphasizes the necessity of setting boundaries with social media to protect mental health, aiming to help over-achievers find balance and self-compassion.
Toxic striving, driven by societal pressures to achieve, often leads to anxiety and a warped sense of self-worth.
Hustle culture glorifies relentless productivity, tying self-worth to achievement, which can cause guilt and shame for failing to meet standards.
Setting personal boundaries and curating social media feeds can significantly enhance well-being by promoting authenticity and reducing negative influences.
Deep dives
The Importance of Values in Life Satisfaction
Understanding one’s core values plays a crucial role in achieving genuine life satisfaction. Often, people pursue externally imposed goals like productivity or perfection without questioning whether these pursuits align with their deeper values. For instance, striving for a spotless kitchen may not hold lasting significance when reflecting on life’s overall fulfillment. By reconnecting with personal values, individuals can redirect their focus to what truly matters, enriching their lives with purpose and contentment.
Navigating Toxic Striving and the Pressure to Achieve
Toxic striving emerges as a response to societal pressures to constantly achieve and perform, leading to anxiety and burnout. This internalized pressure often manifests in people-pleasing behaviors and perfectionism, where individuals feel the need to meet unrealistic standards, even at the cost of their well-being. Stories shared by guests highlight the difficulty of letting go of outdated achievement narratives ingrained from an early age, such as equating self-worth with academic grades. Recognizing this cycle is an essential step toward breaking free from harmful striving behaviors that distort one’s sense of self.
The Cultural Impact of Hustle and Wellness Ideologies
Hustle culture and wellness culture profoundly shape individuals' perceptions of success and self-worth, often prioritizing productivity over personal happiness. Hustle culture promotes the belief that constant work equates to personal value, while wellness culture ties health metrics to morality, creating unrealistic standards for how one should live. These ideologies can lead to a cycle of guilt and shame, where individuals feel inadequate if they do not meet arbitrary health and productivity goals. By shifting focus away from these societal pressures, people can cultivate healthier relationships with achievement and well-being.
Exploring the Role of Boundaries
Setting and respecting personal boundaries is pivotal in maintaining a balanced and fulfilling life. Many individuals do not recognize the significance of boundaries beyond interpersonal relationships, particularly regarding the media they consume. Curating one’s social media feeds by unfollowing accounts that promote negative self-image can significantly improve well-being and mindset. By consciously choosing what information to absorb, individuals empower themselves to create an uplifting environment that encourages authenticity and self-care.
Embracing Pleasure and Intuition in Daily Life
Embracing pleasure and allowing oneself to follow intuitive desires can lead to a more fulfilled existence. The conversation highlights how societal norms often discourage enjoyment, relegating pleasure to a reward for being productive or meeting responsibilities. Individuals can explore pleasurable activities, such as dancing or engaging in hobbies, reclaiming moments of joy as integral parts of life rather than afterthoughts. By focusing on cultivating intuition and prioritizing pleasure, people can foster a deeper connection with themselves, enhancing overall life satisfaction.
She talks about how perfectionism and the pressure to constantly achieve can leave us feeling anxious, and why it’s so important to tune into what you need, not what society tells you is right.
Dr. Paula shares ideas like intuitive eating and flexible living, encouraging us to prioritize our own values over external expectations. She also touches on the importance of setting boundaries and using social media mindfully, so it doesn’t drain us. Her hope? To help people-pleasers and over-achievers find more balance, self-compassion, and ease in their lives.
Listen and Learn:
How the pressures of perfectionism and toxic striving can manifest in every season of life from childhood to adulthood
The harmful impact of hustle culture and how society glorifies relentless productivity and ties self-worth to achievement
The fine line between healthy ambition and toxic striving and how burnout, perfectionism, and societal pressures intersect
How wellness culture ties our worth to shifting health trends and body image, making people feel like they’re constantly chasing unrealistic ideals instead of real wellness
Blending intuitive eating and ACT helps break free from toxic striving and find balance
How rigid rules around food, time, and behavior quietly shape our lives
Shifting from rigid rules to self-compassion can transform habits like sleep, exercise, and eating
How shame can fuel rigid behaviors, toxic striving, and the liberating power of self-compassion
Embracing pleasure, rejecting guilt, and recognizing that enjoying life enhances our well-being and the value we bring to others
How reclaiming your intuition and setting media boundaries can transform your daily life
Paula Freedman-Diamond, Psy.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor. She is the owner and clinical director of HumanKind Psychological Services in Chicago, IL and the author of Toxic Striving: Why Hustle and Wellness Cultures are Leaving Us Anxious, Stressed, and Burned Out-- and How to Break Free, and The Addiction Recovery Workbook. Dr. Paula specializes in perfectionism, anxiety, and eating disorders. She enjoys helping high-achievers and people-please rs learn to stop chasing external approval and start living according to the wisdom of their own bodies and minds. Dr. Paula is on a mission to take down the toxic systems that make people feel like they're not good enough, no matter how hard they work. She is especially passionate about making healthcare more welcoming and respectful for all bodies. She provides education and supervision for clinical psychology doctoral students. She is a strong advocate for size inclusivity in health, fitness, and wellness spaces. Dr. Paula has been featured in the New York Times and is a featured expert for Reebok, Bark Technologies, and A Sweat Life. She is on the advisory boards for Medical Students for Size Inclusivity and Fat Torah. You can follow her on Instagram at @mindfuldrpaula.
