How to Be a Better Human Why you need to learn how to fight in a relationship (w/ Dr. Julie and John Gottman)
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Nov 10, 2025 
Dr. Julie and John Gottman, esteemed psychologists and co-founders of the Gottman Institute, delve into the science of fighting in relationships. They reveal that the way couples argue impacts their long-term happiness. Healthy conflict resolution can lead to deeper connections, and they stress the importance of asking meaningful questions. The Gottmans also share insights on the destructive 'four horsemen' predicting divorce and offer practical tools for couples to thrive, even when facing external stresses like parenthood.
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How You Fight Predicts Relationship Fate
- Fighting itself doesn't doom relationships; how couples fight determines long-term outcomes.
- The Gottmans found first three minutes of conflict predict relationship trajectory with 96% accuracy.
Use Questions To Reach Temporary Compromise
- Ask questions to draw out underlying themes, history, and dreams during recurring conflicts.
- Use that deeper understanding to arrive at a temporary compromise both partners can live with.
Master Couple Balances Opposite Traits
- John and his introvert/extravert couple example show attraction traits can later irritate partners.
- They laughed and negotiated money and disclosure boundaries to manage their perpetual issues.
