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The Jefferson Fisher Podcast

How to Not Get Defensive

Nov 19, 2024
Defensiveness can derail conversations, but there are effective ways to stay calm. The discussion highlights three strategies to prevent escalation during heated talks. Techniques like language reframing can foster openness and make people feel valued. Real-life examples, including handling a defensive employee, illustrate how thoughtful communication can lead to productive dialogue. Plus, the importance of audience engagement is emphasized, making tough conversations more manageable for everyone involved.
17:28

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Defensiveness is a natural reaction to perceived threats, but recognizing it can help mitigate its impact on conversations.
  • Utilizing 'I' statements and specific collaborative phrases fosters a more positive dialogue and reduces the likelihood of escalating tensions.

Deep dives

The Nature of Defensiveness

Defensiveness is a natural biological reaction that occurs in response to perceived threats or challenges. When someone disagrees with us or critiques our opinions, our body instinctively reacts, causing a desire to push back. This reaction can disrupt conversations and escalate arguments, leading to a cycle of defensiveness where both parties feel compelled to defend their positions. Recognizing that this behavior is innate helps in understanding how to manage and mitigate its occurrence during discussions.

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