Defensiveness can derail conversations, but there are effective ways to stay calm. The discussion highlights three strategies to prevent escalation during heated talks. Techniques like language reframing can foster openness and make people feel valued. Real-life examples, including handling a defensive employee, illustrate how thoughtful communication can lead to productive dialogue. Plus, the importance of audience engagement is emphasized, making tough conversations more manageable for everyone involved.
17:28
forum Ask episode
web_stories AI Snips
view_agenda Chapters
menu_book Books
auto_awesome Transcript
info_circle Episode notes
insights INSIGHT
Defensiveness Is Biological
Defensiveness is a biological reaction to perceived threats or challenges, like disagreements or instructions.
This fight-or-flight response makes it difficult to avoid initial defensiveness.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Let Words Fall
To manage defensiveness, visualize the other person's words falling to the ground.
Choose whether to engage or leave them; often, disengaging is best.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Use "I" Instead of "You"
Replace "you" statements with "I" statements to reduce defensiveness.
"You" statements can be triggering and accusatory, while "I" statements express personal feelings.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
From communication expert Jefferson Fisher, this book provides immediately actionable strategies and phrases to transform your life and relationships by improving your communication. Fisher, a trial lawyer and leading voice on real-world communication, offers a tried-and-true three-part communication system (Say it with control, Say it with confidence, Say it to connect) that can be applied to any situation. The book teaches how to assert yourself, set boundaries, frame conversations, and overcome conflict with connection, ensuring that your every word has a positive impact on your relationships.
Someone says something that hits a nerve, and before you know it, you’re on the defensive.
Defensiveness is a normal reaction. But it can quickly escalate arguments and make things worse. Good news: there’s a better way to handle it.
In this episode, I’m sharing 3 ways to stay calm and not get defensive—no matter how heated the conversation gets.
These strategies will help you stay composed and avoid escalating the situation. So you can turn difficult conversations into productive ones.
Like what you hear? Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a 5-star review.
This episode is sponsored by Cozy Earth. Visit cozyearth.com/jefferson and use my exclusive 40% off code JEFFERSON to give the gift of luxury this holiday season.
If you get a post purchase survey, say that you heard about Cozy Earth from The Jefferson Fisher Podcast!
The Jefferson Fisher Podcast 