Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy 149: Defensiveness
Oct 26, 2018
Exploring the intricacies of defensiveness, the hosts reveal how it can hinder communication and intimacy in relationships. They emphasize self-reflection to recognize these behaviors and share strategies for healthier interactions. The discussion highlights the importance of turn-taking in conversations and techniques like reflective listening to reduce conflict. Listeners are inspired to enhance both their communication skills and fall wardrobes, creating a well-rounded perspective on personal growth and relationship dynamics.
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Defensiveness Blocks Listening
- Defensiveness is a protective response when someone feels attacked and justifies their behavior instead of listening.
- It often sounds like "yeah, but" statements that block understanding and escalate conflict.
Fear Drives Defensive Posture
- Defensiveness often signals fear of being misunderstood or judged and can be a way to protect self-worth.
- It functions as emotional distancing and reduces attunement, which undermines intimacy.
Linda And Joe Work Conflict
- Dr. Adam describes Linda and Joe: she wants more time together while he defends long work hours as necessary.
- Their defensiveness escalates the conflict and increases his distance rather than resolving the issue.
