Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

In today's episode we are discussing the "double hard." This is when partners are in the same position in each cycle. When the emotional pursuer is also the sexual pursuer and the emotional withdrawer is also the sexually withdrawer, partners have a doubly hard time accessing the other's internal world. The pursuer gets double rejected and the withdrawer gets double the pressure. These cycles can lead to more polarization, more rigidity and the feeling of speaking different languages. Hosts, Laurie and George will guide listeners through each partner's dilemma in parallel cycles. Through an excellent role play you will learn the motivation under the protective move and how to craft a better and more attuned conversation if your relationship experiences parallel positions in the emotional and sexual cycles. Partners are encouraged to get more curious with what is going on inside and try to experience their partner's position in a different way. We hope our parallel position couples find some encouragement and hope in this episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems to do, validating your partner’s defense actually helps them feel seen by you and keeps you in connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we are defining longings in a relationship. George and Laurie identify two different types of longing. The first seen as a more physical and emotional pain around an unmet need. These are longings that have to do with not being seen, or heard and require comfort and reassurance to restore safety. The second type of longing centers on growth and expansion. It is where we work to express our desire, pleasure and fantasies to one another. When there has been a prolonged negative cycle, longings typically are about safety and many couples struggle with longings that promote pleasure. What does the idea of longings bring up in you? Are yours more focused on safety or growth? Make sure to listen and share this episode with your love to learn more about what your longings are and how to express them in your relationship.  Check out this episode's sponsor (and help keep it hot!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Facing a sexless marriage can be tough, leading to feelings of disappointment and shame. The hosts discuss how emotional barriers and poor communication contribute to intimacy withdrawal. They emphasize the need for open discussions about desires and fears to reignite passion. Touch, both sexual and non-sexual, plays a crucial role in healing intimacy. By exploring past experiences, couples can overcome obstacles and build connections. The conversation empowers partners to take proactive steps toward rekindling their bond.

In today's episode, we explore taking sex from a chore to a desired event. It's common for one partner to see sex as a way to please the other but forget about themselves. While individuals do have different levels of sexual desire, physical intimacy is still a need. Laurie and George invite sexual withdrawers to consider themselves, and their needs and wants in the sexual relationship rather than just making their partner happy. Through awareness, mindset shift and fantasy withdrawers will learn how to uncover and share their sexual needs to create more desire and want in your sexual relationship.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Discover how confidence plays a pivotal role in relationships. Learn practical tips for enhancing intimacy through open communication. Explore the roots of sexual confidence and how miscommunication can undermine it. Dive into ways to navigate negative communication patterns and foster emotional safety. The importance of creating a space for vulnerability is emphasized, helping partners understand each other's needs and enhancing overall intimacy. Transform difficult conversations into collaborative dialogues for a deeper emotional connection.

Dive into the intriguing world of sexual attachment styles! Learn how secure, anxious, and avoidant attachments shape intimacy and sexual dynamics. Discover why an anxious partner may crave closeness while an avoidant one might withdraw. Understanding your attachment style can lead to deeper emotional connections and enhanced satisfaction in your love life. This enlightening discussion sheds light on navigating these complexities for a more secure and fulfilling relationship.

Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we are joined again by Dr. Ryan Rana, director of the Joshua Center in Arkansas and partners with George in the online EFT school for therapists, 'Success in Vulnerability.' Ryan joins our hosts in an in depth conversation discussing how to be more vulnerable in your sexual relationship. A relationship that centers on logistics and mechanics functions but doesn't access the power of attachment energy. To risk being seen, heard and understood deepens connection and harnesses a powerful energy. This 'soul connection' is the benefit from taking risks to be vulnerable with your partner by expressing feelings and needs. Come along with us today to learn more about what it looks like to be more vulnerable, how vulnerability can take your sex life from drab to fab and why deep connection with your partner is one of life's greatest stress reducers. Vulnerability can feel scary but on the flipside of feeling scared is feeling excited! Vulnerability is a major turn on! Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): OneSkin.co - Invest in the health and longevity of your skin with One Skin. It works on the cellular level to address the causes of skin aging. Get 15% off by using the code foreplay Dr. Ryan Rana's website is Ryanranatraining.com. He can be reached at ryanranaphd@gmail.com and on facebook at Ryan Rana Professional training. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Touch is vital for intimate communication. We learn so much with touch - pleasure, safety, exploration and curiosity! So often we don’t put it into words and then we find ourselves in intimate relationship with a partner without really explaining what we need and want. For instance, tickling may be fun and erotic or triggering. There are lots of ways me might miss each other in the conversation but Laurie and George explore people’s reservations and offer ideas of how to communicate about intimate touch better. #EFT #Couples #Marriage #Sex #SexPodcast #SecureSexualAttachment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices