Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

Does introducing sexual novelty spice things up or turn things sour? Join us today for a conversation on how and when to introduce bringing something new into the bedroom? Research suggests that novelty in long-term relationships is key to keeping them alive but in the sexual relationship it has the potential to create a rift. George and Laurie breakdown the best way to structure this conversation to increase chances of successful communication, how one partner's gas pedal may trigger another partner's brake and how to apply the caregiving cycle if the situation gets a bit tense. If you've been thinking about how to approach adding some spice to your bedroom routine, you're not going to want to miss this episode. Tag us on instagram with your fails and nails conversations on this topic. We'd love to know what works and what didn't, all to help you 'keep it hot y'all!' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Or if sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why. Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas:the relationship - especially lack of communication,worry areas – disgust about certain sex acts, poor body image, or fear about not pleasing their partnerpleasure – loss of interest when she doesn’t climax or experience pleasure. George and Laurie discuss these areas and role play an initial conversation as a couple talking about her sexual blocks. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss the messages we received about sex and who taught us about it. Join hosts, Laurie and George in this exploration to uncover 'who taught me about sex and what lessons did I receive?' For many, you may have received a one time birds and the bees conversation from your parents or through a mandatory sex ed lesson at school. However, communication about sex is much more than a one time conversation.  It is a process through which we exchange thoughtful ideas and openness for questions about intimacy. Perhaps you intercepted messaging from religion, culture, music or a peer on the back of the school bus. The origins of how you learned about sex can inform much of your connection to sex present day. It's time to get curious listeners and ask yourself and your partner what and from whom did I learn about sex? What messages did I receive and what beliefs did I form? These questions can help you dig deep and identify blocks, needs, desires or fantasies which when communicated about have the potential to be life changing. Keep it hot, y'all! Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The million maybe billion-dollar question: how do we increase low sexual desire in women? Laurie and George discuss what is shutting down sexual desire in women. George gets it right by saying women often put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own. And Laurie discusses their disconnection to their own sexual needs. Laurie puts on her therapist hat and the work is pure magic! Sexual withdrawers will feel so validated listening to this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss freedom in your sex life. Three simple questions to ask of each other: What freedom do you need to explore? What do you need freedom from and where do you need the freedom to say no? Join hosts, George and Laurie in this explorative conversation and learn about what freedom means and looks like to you. These questions pose a good opportunity to explore your sexual blueprint, cultural or societal expectations imprinted on you and how to advocate for your needs. Sit down and listen to this episode with your partner and ask these questions! Keep it hot y'all!      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Everyone wants to feel desired certainly. But the research shows that for women - being desired, hearing their partner's verbal admiration and open "want" - is very important to their turn on. When men are dating they instinctively know how telling their partner how sexy they look, sending flirty messages, giving their partner longing looks - tells her she's hot! George and Laurie talk through the shut down to this process and encourage men to go for it again. #couples #eft #sexpodcast #marriage #desire #secureattachment Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode, we discuss the importance of caretaking in intimate relationships. Things can go awry when one partner is looking for affection, nurture or attunement and it's read as blame. We all need to be cared for by one another and this is an important system to tend to. Join our experts, Laurie and George to learn more about the caretaking system in your relationship, your needs that you need responded to and how you can provide everyday care to your partner. So what does this have to do with sex? Laurie challenges listeners to a 30 minute emotional debrief a day. If the partner that needs this debrief is met with care and attentiveness chances to better and more sex skyrocket! Don't believe her? Give it a try and make sure to write in your results of the challenge to our listener mailbag on our website www.foreplayrst.com. Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant. It will help keep it hot! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“I’m just not attracted to you anymore.” - OUCH!!!I Sounds like a showstopper doesn’t it? But Laurie and George have hope for you to get it back.We use our favorite acronym BEST SEX Conversations - to explore why people might lose attraction for the partner they’ve committed to and some ideas about getting it back. We go through the primary areas of sexual attachment from a holistic viewpoint to discover what is causing lack of attraction. Then we offer ways you can feel the gas - how to increase the turn-ons! and then we talk about ways to release the brakes on the things that turn you off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today's episode we are discussing the "double hard." This is when partners are in the same position in each cycle. When the emotional pursuer is also the sexual pursuer and the emotional withdrawer is also the sexually withdrawer, partners have a doubly hard time accessing the other's internal world. The pursuer gets double rejected and the withdrawer gets double the pressure. These cycles can lead to more polarization, more rigidity and the feeling of speaking different languages. Hosts, Laurie and George will guide listeners through each partner's dilemma in parallel cycles. Through an excellent role play you will learn the motivation under the protective move and how to craft a better and more attuned conversation if your relationship experiences parallel positions in the emotional and sexual cycles. Partners are encouraged to get more curious with what is going on inside and try to experience their partner's position in a different way. We hope our parallel position couples find some encouragement and hope in this episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about good-enough responding - responding to our partner in ways that keep us connected even when we disappoint them. Think about when a withdrawer finally comes forward; while their pursuing partner may long for whatever they’re offering, the same pursuer most likely feels doubt and mistrust about the sincerity of their withdrawing partner or the evidence that this is a start of a change pattern. George is so confident that mistrust is going to be present at this stage - he calls it a natural part of the change process. So of course - the pursuer doesn’t reward their withdrawer with success for initiation and guess what? - the withdrawing partner backs away. Fail. But what if there were a way to find a secondary target, a secondary path to stay connected. George and Laurie discuss how you can target a lesser but important target (other than true responsiveness); you can give permission for you partner’s defensive/protective move - you can let them know it makes sense to you. As hard as it seems to do, validating your partner’s defense actually helps them feel seen by you and keeps you in connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices