Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug

Teen safety: Predator-proof your child

Jan 21, 2026

In this enlightening discussion, Anna Sonoda, a licensed clinical social worker and grooming-prevention specialist, exposes the alarming stages of grooming that often go unnoticed by parents. She reveals her insights from counseling sex offenders, emphasizing that most abuse occurs at home, through familiar faces. Anna introduces her '4F formula'—flattery, favoritism, forbidden fruits, and fear—and stresses the importance of open dialogue and setting tech boundaries. With practical advice, she empowers parents to create a safer environment and foster strong connections with their kids.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

ANECDOTE

Playground Moment That Sparked Her Work

Anna recounts a playground conversation where a parent felt 'this doesn't happen here' because of affluence.
That moment spurred Anna to educate affluent and all parents, showing grooming crosses all communities.

INSIGHT

Grooming Is Like Carbon Monoxide

Grooming is subtle and builds slowly, so parental gut instinct often misses it like carbon monoxide.
Parents need a framework to detect gradual, sweet courtship that lowers their guard.

INSIGHT

Predation Needs Gas, Access, And Space

Predators need three ingredients: gas, access, and space to exploit a child.
Online spaces provide space and can quickly extend access to anyone globally.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Ask Rachel anything

While counseling sex offenders, Anna Sonoda, LCSW learned firsthand that grooming, the prelude to child sexual abuse, is intentional, gradual, and observable. Her message to us is, we're not bad parents, we just have a skills gap and she wants to fill it.

I grew up in an era of stranger danger, but the truth is the vast majority of abuse happens inside our homes, online and offline, with people our kids know. So how can we spot the signs that a predator is moving in on us and our kids?

Anna says there are clear stages of grooming that, once we know about them, we can intercept. She introduces the "4F formula" for grooming: flattery, favoritism, forbidden fruits, and fear, and stresses the importance of recognizing grooming's subtle signs. Anna advises parents to set clear device usage rules, use parental controls, and maintain open communication with their children. She also advocates for delaying social media access until age 16 and emphasizes the role of parents in curating their children's online and offline environments.

In this episode we cover:

What Is Grooming? (And Why Your Gut Isn’t Enough)
Who Is at Risk? Myths About “Safe” Communities
Online vs Offline Grooming: Why Both Matter
The 4F Formula: Stages of Grooming Parents Need to Know
Red Flags of Grooming in Digital Spaces
Devices, Social Media and Age: What’s Really Appropriate?
Practical House Rules That Reduce Grooming Risk
Building “Predator-Proof” Kids Through Connection
Reclaiming Parental Leadership in a Tech-Driven World

Resources:

Anna Sonoda: www.annasonoda.com

IWF: https://www.iwf.org.uk/ UK-based for reporting and removing innapropriate images

Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/ For useful and appropriate age guidance

Predator’s Playground: AI, Gaming, and the Kids at Risk

https://annasonoda.com/blog/f/predator%E2%80%99s-playground-ai-gaming-and-the-kids-at-risk?blogcategory=Online+safety

Protecting Families in the Age of AI: 'Take It Down Act'

https://annasonoda.com/blog/f/protecting-families-in-the-age-of-ai-take-it-down-act?blogcategory=Online+safety

teenagersuntangled.substack.com

Support the show

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit.

You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.
My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com

Find me on Substack https://Teenagersuntangled.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk