Speaking of Sex with The Pleasure Mechanics The Surprising Science of Lasting Sexual Connection: An Interview with Emily Nagoski
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Feb 2, 2024 
Emily Nagoski, author of Come Together: The Science (and Art!) of Creating Lasting Sexual Connections, challenges conventional notions of sustaining sexual connections. They discuss the impact of stress on sexual connection and the surprising underrepresentation of diverse experiences in the scientific field. The importance of vulnerability, authenticity, and connection in relationships is highlighted, as well as the process of unlearning societal myths surrounding sexuality.
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Context Determines Pleasure
- Pleasure depends on the nervous-system context: calm, safe connection makes sensations register as pleasurable.
- Stress, anxiety, grief and other negative affects block the brain from interpreting sensations as pleasurable.
Connection Beats The Spark
- Long-term sexual satisfaction centers on vulnerability, authenticity and connection rather than chasing a 'spark'.
- People with sustained sexual connection rarely list novelty or the spark among top features of great sex.
Co-Create A Pleasure Context
- Talk with partners about the specific external and internal contexts that let your brain experience pleasure.
- Co-create routines and environments that reliably move you into a calm, curious, playful state before sex.