How to Navigate the Messy Middle Between Ruinous Empathy & Obnoxious Aggression 6 | 49
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Dec 18, 2024
Explore how to navigate the tricky dynamics between a caring but indecisive boss and an overly aggressive team lead. Discover the CORE method, which emphasizes Context, Observation, Result, and Expected Next Steps to foster better communication. Learn about the distinctions between ruinous empathy and obnoxious aggression, and the importance of clear, candid feedback. The discussion highlights practical strategies for managing conflict and enhancing team relationships while keeping productivity intact.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Seeking Help from Boss
Share something hindering your success with your boss.
Frame it as needing their help to improve the situation.
insights INSIGHT
Responding to Help Requests
Responding to a request for help with inaction suggests a lack of care.
It borders on manipulative insincerity.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Wake-Up Call
Jason Rozoff recounts a time a report called out his enabling of a bully.
This feedback spurred him to take more direct action.
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Radical Candor by Kim Scott offers a practical approach to management by emphasizing the importance of caring personally and challenging directly. The book argues that effective managers must find a balance between being empathetic and providing clear, honest feedback. Scott draws from her experiences at Google and Apple to provide actionable lessons on building strong relationships, giving feedback, and creating a collaborative work environment. The book introduces the concept of 'radical candor' as the sweet spot between obnoxious aggression and ruinous empathy, and provides tools and strategies for managers to implement this approach in their daily work[1][2][5].
How the CORE method can help you thrive in the messy middle.
Caught in the middle of a boss who’s all care but no action and a team lead who’s full steam ahead with no brakes? That’s a workplace tightrope no one wants to walk. Your ability to Care Personally and Challenge Directly can seriously be affected when communication falls apart on both ends of the spectrum, and it’s not just frustrating—it’s debilitating. How do you stay productive and keep your sanity when you’re managing up and down with people who either dodge conflict entirely or bulldoze through it? In this episode, Jason and Amy tackle the messy middle, breaking down how to use the CORE method (Context, Observation, Result, Expected Next Steps) to navigate these tricky situations. It’s not about pointing fingers or playing favorites—it’s about finding a way to ditch the drama and focus on what really matters: working better together.
(00:00:00) Introduction Amy and Jason introduce a listener dilemma about a ruinously empathetic boss and an obnoxiously aggressive team lead. (00:02:15) Defining Ruinous Empathy and Obnoxious Aggression What it means to care without challenging and to challenge without caring. (00:04:44) It’s the Boss’s Job: Accountability Matters Why the manager has ultimate responsibility and how to provide feedback. (00:07:53) Raising the Issue with Your Boss How to approach a ruinously empathetic boss with care and directness. (00:11:46) Involving Your Boss Effectively How to engage your boss in resolving team tensions without blame or shame. (00:17:55) Using the CORE Method A step-by-step approach to delivering clear and constructive feedback. (00:20:55) Role-Play: Navigating a Clean Escalation Conversation How to handle a tough conversation between a team member and an aggressive lead. (00:31:11) Building Common Ground Tips for fostering mutual understanding and creating actionable steps. (00:34:02) Radical Candor Tips Key takeaways and practical tips for addressing conflict. (00:36:35) Conclusion
Radical Candor: Communication at Work 