The Look & Sound of Leadership

Taming the Defensiveness Dragon

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Jul 6, 2023
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ANECDOTE

Jackie's Defensive Direct Report

  • Jackie deals with a defensive direct report named Tate, who reacts negatively to feedback.
  • Despite her vulnerability, Tate deflects and increases his defensiveness, challenging her confidence.
ADVICE

State Issue and Intention Clearly

  • Clearly state the issue and your good intention when addressing defensiveness.
  • This clarity helps open a safe space to discuss challenging feedback with defensive people.
ADVICE

Start With Empathy and Questions

  • To reduce defensiveness, align with the person's perspective and show empathy.
  • Start feedback conversations by asking about their intentions rather than accusing.
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