The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast 1KHO 686: Put Down the Phone and Pick Up Your Marriage | Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, I Didn't Sign Up For This
Jan 21, 2026
Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, a couples therapist and author of 'I Didn't Sign Up For This', dives into the complexities of modern relationships, especially for parents. She discusses the often-unspoken pain of feeling duped after the honeymoon phase and the mental load that can lead to resentment. Tracy emphasizes the importance of small repairs instead of perfection, offers actionable tips for creating phone boundaries to foster connection, and highlights the need for clear communication and acknowledgment in relationships.
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Expectation Vs. Relational Reality
- Unhealed childhood wounds often emerge after the honeymoon when partners settle into familiar roles.
- Tracy Dalgleish calls this feeling of being “duped” a normal response, not personal failure.
Divide Tasks By Their Three Parts
- Do name the three parts of tasks: conceptualization, planning, and execution when splitting household work.
- Share responsibility for all three parts to prevent resentment and hidden mental load.
How The Over/Under Cycle Forms
- Overfunctioning and underfunctioning form a co-created cycle where one partner becomes the default problem-solver.
- That cycle entrenches roles and blocks growth unless responsibilities are intentionally redistributed.
