On today's episode I chat with Kylie Feller, a Canadian clinical counselor and Level 3 Certified IFS therapist specializing in complex trauma. We chat about two topics she's passionate about: parts journaling and dating. (Our dating convo begins at 15:50).
First, Kylie shares tips on connecting to our parts through journaling. Her book, IFS Daily Parts Journal, offers a structured method which she first developed as her own self-care tool. We explore how journaling can be a valuable way to check in with our parts, unblend, and create inner openness, and why it isn't always as easy as it seems.
Then we switch gears to explore dating through an IFS lens. Sharing personal insights from her experience in the dating scene, she shares how dating presents opportunities to notice trailheads, meet new parts, and practice Self leadership.
We discuss:
- Journaling with our parts can be like having a self-led therapist, helping us track, check in, and create openness towards different parts of ourselves.
- Resistance to journaling or parts work is common, and it’s helpful to approach these resistances with curiosity and compassion.
- There is no one-size-fits-all approach to IFS practices; journaling, singing, art, and even walking can be ways to connect with parts.
- Dating offers a unique opportunity to explore our parts, activating trailheads that can lead to greater self-understanding and healing.
- Kylie’s approach to dating with IFS emphasizes self-love, curiosity, and the importance of building internal relationships before seeking external connections.
- The concept of trusting one's system and allowing for natural growth and change in relationships is key to healing through IFS.
Kylie will be presenting at the 2024 IFS Annual Conference in a session titled: Parts Journaling: Develop The Habit of Checking in With Your Parts.
About Kylie Feller: Kylie is a Canadian clinical counselor, digital nomad, and Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist. She has personally experienced the healing power of IFS and is passionate about helping others on their self-healing journeys. Kylie is the author of the IFS Daily Parts Journal, designed to help individuals connect with their parts through thoughtfully formatted journal pages. She is currently working on her next book focused on dating through the lens of IFS.
Connect with Kylie:
Mentioned in this episode:
One of my favorite quotes: "Dating is like an experiment. Every encounter becomes a mirror reflecting back my parts, allowing me to get curious, speak for them, and ultimately, love myself more deeply." – Kylie Feller
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The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast